


Penny & Oscar's Excellent Adventure

by starlightwanderer



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Multiverse, Mute Neopolitan (RWBY)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:14:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25047469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwanderer/pseuds/starlightwanderer
Summary: Penny Polendina and Oscar Pine go on a mind-bending journey through multiple alternate RWBY universes. Also Neo is there.
Comments: 24
Kudos: 51





	1. Don't Touch That Dial! Seriously, What Are You Doing?

"Go then, there are other worlds than these."

― Stephen King, _The Gunslinger_

There wasn't much time left; Oscar Pine hurried his pace as he walked through the maze of hallways making up Atlas Academy. He had to find General Ironwood. His chance of stopping the madman's plans were slim, but it was all he could think to do at this moment. Ruby, everyone, they were counting on him.

As he turned a sharp corner he saw an open door down the next hallway. Curiosity took over as he ventured to the threshold.

The room inside was awash in cold fluorescent lighting; computer terminals and machinery beyond his comprehension lay scattered about. In the midst of all this, however, he recognized the ginger haired girl rummaging through it all.

"Penny!" Oscar said. "You're just the person I was looking for." If anyone would know where Ironwood was, surely she would.

Penny Polendina jumped, startled by his intrusion, but her smile was as bright as ever as she turned to greet him.

"Salutations, Oscar." she gave a single wave. "What can I help you with?"

"It's General Ironwood," Oscar began, but paused to consider his words. He didn't want to give the wrong impression, but he needed to hurry. "Do you know where he is? I need to speak with him right away."

"Absolutely!" Penny beamed. "General Ironwood went to the Vault to prepare."

 _To prepare to abandon the citizens of Mantle to their deaths,_ Ozpin's voice echoed in Oscar's mind. He wasn't wrong, but that was precisely why this intervention was necessary.

Oscar scratched his head nervously, "I...forgot which way that was. Could you help a guy out?"

"The Vault is located _that_ way," Penny pointed to her right. Oscar noticed a strange black device in her hand.

"What is that you're holding?" he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him once more.

"Oh, this?" Penny held the device in her hands before Oscar. "I do not know. Winter had asked me to look for a replacement part for Fria's life support, however I found this instead."

The device looked like a remote control of some kind, a glossy black material made up the bulk of the body with matte buttons in several colors and orientations; a circular arrangement near the top of it featured a prominent blue ring that was pulsating with light.

"You don't know what it does?" Oscar asked, entranced by the contraption.

"I have never seen this kind of technology before," Penny explained.

Oscar took the remote from her, examining it as if he somehow could decipher its function. The buttons had labels, but none of them made sense. CH plus and minus, a numeric section, but the big button in the center kept drawing its eye with its enticing glow.

"Oh!" Penny spoke up. "Hello! Are you lost ma'am?"

Oscar whipped around to find a menacing looking woman standing in the doorway. She leaned up against the threshold, twirling what looked like an umbrella at her hip. Beneath her black bowler hat, her eyes were staring daggers at him.

 _Oscar,_ Ozpin said, _that woman is dangerous. You need to keep the Relic away from her._

He had forgotten about the Relic on his belt, but it was too late now; he was cornered.

"Can I help you with something as well?" Penny asked, unfazed by the woman's demeanor.

She pushed off the wall and began walking slowly towards them. She stopped twirling the umbrella and pointed it firmly at Oscar's waistband, directly at the Relic of Knowledge that hung there.

"She's after the lamp," Oscar said, backing away from the advancing menace.

Penny's normal sunny behavior faded. "Oscar, get behind me," she said as _Floating Array_ began to unfold out of her backpack compartment. "I'll distract her. You get to the Vault!"

The attacker opened her umbrella and twirled it playfully behind her. Penny wasted no time in attacking, sending her blades into the woman. Oscar bolted from out behind her, taking a wide berth to avoid the ensuing fight as he ran to the door.

Penny's blades made contact with the woman and she shattered into tiny pieces. Oscar was so caught up in the spectacle that he didn't realize she had never left the doorway. He ran straight into the woman who gave him a shove backwards, a devious grin on her face.

"Oscar!" Penny cried, running to his aid. The mystery woman also began to dive at him, her eyes fixated on the Relic. Oscar panicked, thrusting _The Long Memory_ outwards and gripping it firmly.

Except the cane remained tethered to his waist, and in his hands the remote, his fingers tight upon the now depressed central button.

A brilliant light erupted from the device, engulfing the room, and when it had cleared the three were gone.

* * *

_Oscar, get up! You must protect the Relic!_

Ozpin's voice roused him, and Oscar wiped his eyes, fighting off the blindness. As his vision cleared, he wasn't sure his eyes were working properly.

They were outside, a star filled night sky hung over them as they stood on the streets, the shattered moon casting a cool glow over the tall buildings drawing long shadows. This clearly wasn't Mantle, and the buildings didn't look like the ones he had seen in Atlas either.

The clash of steel caught Oscar's attention and he turned to see Penny and the strange woman clashing in the street. Despite only wielding an umbrella, the menacing figure was keeping up with Penny effortlessly. His hands instinctively shot to his belt, where the Relic of Knowledge remained attached.

A crashing sound from his right! _What now?_ Oscar groaned. The window of a nearby shop had burst open and the body of a man in an all black suit lay on the ground buckling over in pain.

 _Wait a minute,_ Ozpin said, _this seems awfully familiar._

A flash of red, a flourish of steel; a lone girl stood over the man's body brandishing an enormous red and black scythe.

 _That's Ruby!_ Oscar was overjoyed. Everything was going to be fine now.

"¡Sal y ríndete mientras puedas!" Ruby shouted, slamming _Crescent Rose_ into the concrete.

_Or...not?_


	2. A Quién le Importa, Ni Siquiera Puedes Leer Esto.

Oscar watched in confusion as more men in black suits with matching red shades exited the shop and began to surround Ruby. The last of them was different, however, wearing a white coat and a black bowler hat over his ginger bangs. He strutted with his cane, pulling a fat cigar out of his mouth and puffing smoke into the night air.

"Este es el final para ti pequeña roja!" the man cackled. "Mátala, mientras escapo." The thugs seemed to understand the instructions, descending upon Ruby.

 _I have to help her!_ Oscar started towards the group.

 _(Wait, Oscar,)_ Ozpin stopped him. _(This is the robbery Miss Rose was caught up in before her admission into Beacon. My associate Glynda should be on her way, but I don't recall her mentioning them speaking a strange language.)_

Oscar hadn't heard Ruby speak this way before either, but perhaps it was a language people in Vale sometimes used?

"Romano, bastardo," Ruby called after the man as he ran, "¡esto es un juego de niños!"

* * *

Penny Polendina had received some upgrades since Neo had last seen her, shortly before being dismembered live for the world to see at the Vytal Festival. Still, it was nothing she couldn't handle, and Cinder was waiting. The boy wasn't a threat, so she would take care of the robot and retrieve the Lamp; two birds and all that.

How she had come to be in Vale was another issue.

A bright green laser from Penny shot straight towards her, but Neo opened _Hush_ to deflect the beam into a nearby building. Just beyond the blast, she could make out a conflict happening in the streets.

Much to her disbelief, Ruby Rose was there as well, and it looked as though she was fighting some of Junior Xiong's men. Did Cinder have them under her employ too? Regardless, how were they all in Vale?

And then she heard that voice. "Ceniza, tenemos un problema, ¿dónde estás?" It was him, standing on the roof of the building across the street. Neo had no idea what he was saying, probably misheard from the distance. But that didn't matter, he was here again.

He had come back to her.

* * *

The mystery woman took off, bounding across the buildings. Penny wanted to give chase, but she needed to find Oscar. Somehow they had ended up in Vale, and her chronal alignment was off. They hadn't just teleported, but she couldn't quite place her finger on what really happened.

Down in the streets below Penny saw Oscar, slowing backing into an alleyway away from the commotion. Several men in black were attacking a girl that looked strangely similar to Ruby Rose, but this girl was not the same girl Penny knew. She was a centimeter or two shorter, and the way she swung _Crescent Rose_ was more flashy, less practical.

"¡No sabes cuándo rendirte!"

She was also speaking gibberish.

Penny activated her boot thrusters and flew down to Oscar, careful to avoid the skirmish. As she landed, she could see the Relic of Knowledge still in his possession.

"You still have the Relic!" Penny said, making Oscar jump.

"Penny!" he said in a hushed whisper. "What is going on? Where are we?"

"We are in Vale," Penny confirmed.

Oscar's eyes widened. "How did we get to _Vale_? And why is everyone talking so strange?"

The boy's eyes flashed briefly. " _I believe I have an idea."_ Ozpin's calm tone came from Oscar's mouth.

_I wish you would warn me when you're going to do that!_

" _We are indeed in Vale, Miss Polendina, that much is true. But it is not the same Vale."_ Oscar pulled the remote from his pocket, the blue light pulsing once more. " _Oscar pressed this glowing button, and suddenly we are transported miles from our destination, and with our guest in tow as well."_

"Then this device is a teleporter?" Penny asked, confused.

" _Of sorts,"_ Ozpin continued, " _It did indeed transport us to Vale, but I believe we may have entered a different reality. One where events have changed."_

"A reality where everyone speaks a different language?" Penny theorized.

" _Precisely. But we mustn't stay long, lest we risk damaging this world."_

Penny was intrigued; the man seemed to know a good deal about this phenomena. "So then let us go back. If we press the same button, it should work the same, right?"

" _It should, however there are rules we must follow. Unfortunately, we need Neopolitan to travel with us."_

"Neopolitan? Is that the woman who attacked yo...I mean, Oscar?"

" _The very same. She was partnered with the late criminal Roman Torchwick, a part of Cinder Fall's plan that resulted in the fall of Beacon. What she was doing in Atlas, I do not know, but we cannot leave her here."_

Penny knew what she had to do. "Then I will bring her back so we can all go home."

* * *

Neo made her way across the rooftops towards Roman. Her heart soared; she was practically skipping with delight.

He had come back to her.

His back was turned when she reached him, the perfect opportunity for a surprise reunion. She tapped a playful finger on his shoulder and beamed as he turned around.

"N-Neopolitana?" his eyes were stunned. Neo felt her eyes welling up as Roman looked her over, as if unsure she was real.

She nodded back to him with a short bow, just like old times.

"¿Qué coño haces aquí, Neo?" Roman shouted, throwing Neo off balance. "Pensé que estabas robando la carga de Atlas. ¿Por qué estás aquí?"

Even up close, she had no idea what he was saying. Neo wondered if she had suffered a concussion during her tussle in Atlas. Impossible, they hadn't even scratched her! So why could she not understand him?

"Te atrapé ahora, Roman," a whining voice came from behind them "¡Y a tu amigo de los helados!" It was Ruby Rose, the insufferable brat who took… she killed…

Neo drew _Hush_ with a flash; she wasn't playing games any more. She wasn't going to let her take Roman away again. It didn't matter if she couldn't understand him; that hadn't stopped her back then and it wouldn't deter her now.

She rushed Ruby, preparing her semblance for a clever fake out, when an enormous blast knocked her away. As she regained her footing, Neo saw another woman join Ruby; she wore a white blouse with a long pencil skirt and her blonde bob cut blew frantically in the wind from her own attack.

"Una cazadora!" Ruby shouted with glee. She clearly knew this woman, and it didn't bode well for Neo.

"Miss Neapolitan!" Penny's voice rang out too, she had followed her as well. The robotic girl hovered along the edge of the building.

"Ella es un demonio!" Ruby shouted in fear at the sight of Penny.

"Ha pasado un tiempo desde que tuve tres niñas a la vez." Roman chuckled, firing shots from _Melodic Cudgel_.

Was he insane? Even with her help, fighting off all three of them would be difficult. They could just run, run and hide together.

"We need to go now!" Penny called to Neo. "We have to go back to our own world now, and we can't leave without you."

Neo didn't know what the robot was talking about, and she didn't care. She had found Roman again, and nothing was separating them again.

* * *

Penny had made her demands, but Neopolitan did not respond. Instead, the man, identified as Roman Torchwick, began to attack Ruby. Glynda Goodwitch, the current headmistress of Beacon, had also shown up to the fray, just as Ozpin had said she would.

A large Bullhead appeared near Roman's side of the rooftop, driven by a woman Penny could not identify. The hatch doors on both sides opened up; Roman seemed intent on escaping in this airship, and Neopolitan was likely to try and go with him. If they lost her here, they would never get her back.

"Ruby!" Penny shouted, "Keep the airship from taking off!"

"¡No me hables niña demonio!" Ruby shouted back.

Penny assumed her message was understood, and took to the streets. Out of sight from the conflict, she made her way around the back of the building and boosted up to the top, just underneath the airship.

"Entra Neo, nos vamos." she heard Roman say.

 _Neo must be his nickname for her_ , Penny mused. _I will register it into my database_.

Penny could feel vibrations on the floor of the airship as Roman and, presumably, Neo, hopped on board. Glynda was casting enormous spells to keep them from getting away while Ruby sniped at the cockpit with _Crescent Rose_.

Penny boosted upwards to see into the airship's hatch; Neo had climbed on board and was beginning to fasten herself in.

Leaping upwards, Penny grabbed Neo by the ankle and yanked her out of the Bullhead. She flew rapidly with her catch towards the alleyway where Oscar remained hidden.

As she landed, Neo tried to struggle away. "Miss Neo, you must come with us," Penny explained. "We're going home now."

"Here goes nothing!" Oscar cried as he pressed the large central button on the remote, engulfing them in that familiar white light.

* * *

When the blinding light faded, Oscar found himself on cold concrete still, but the horizon seemed much higher up. _Are we back in Atlas?_

 _(It would seem so,)_ Ozpin noted.

Neapolitan was on the ground, pinned down by Penny, and despite her attempts at struggling Penny was not budging.

"Looks like we're back," Oscar said. It felt good to say aloud. For a brief moment, he had thought he would be stuck in that strange world forever. A storm was rolling in from the southern sea, but it was better than being stuck in an alternate reality.

Neo got a hand free and began punching Penny repeatedly in the face. "Miss Neo, are you mad because I tricked you?"

"Mad seems like an understatement," Oscar chuckled timidly. A biting glance from Neo hid his laughter.

 _(We should turn her over to the Atlas authorities,)_ Ozpin said.

"Good idea," Oscar spoke aloud. "Penny, can you radio for—"

A loud thunderclap deafened Oscar. The storm had arrived much quicker than expected, the gloomy darkness racing towards Atlas with a vengeance. But as it came closer Oscar realized it wasn't simply a natural phenomena; the clouds were filled with hundreds of flying creatures. Grimm.

_(Oh gods no...she's here.)_

_Who's here? Who...what is that?_

There, in the midst of the storm atop a massive Grimm the size of an airship, stood the pale white visage Oscar had seen only once in his life. Its cold black eyes were something he had never wanted to experience again.

"Salem…" the name escaped Oscar's lips.

Another loud thud! This time it was only a few feet away. Oscar turned to see a figure dressed from head to toe in gleaming mechanical armor, sleek and sculpted, as if it were a layer of metallic skin. The 'face' of the armor flipped upwards, revealing a pair of silver eyes.

"Ruby?" Penny was stunned. "What are you wearing?"

"Oh, this?" Ruby did a little spin, "It's nanotech. What do you think?"

"I think we're gonna need more help," another voice, a young man's, said. Oscar recognized the styled blonde hair of Jaune Arc, but the outfit he wore was quite different. It looked sturdy; scaly armor covered his body with a large crest on his breast. The same design was etched onto the shield he carried. Jaune no longer seemed timid or even average; he had the confidence of a warrior.

"You make the call, Cap," Ruby said, her helmet flipping down and the eye slits illuminating.

Jaune took one last look at the army of Grimm approaching, before uttering a cry that shook Atlas.

"VINDICATORS, MOBILIZE!"


	3. The Most Ambitious Shitpost In Fan Fiction History

As Jaune's call echoed throughout Atlas, Oscar felt the ground begin to rumble. From within the city came a veritable army of soldiers, thousands of them, some running and some flying. All of them were heading to meet Salem head on.

"You fools!" her voice bellowed from atop her Grimm mount. "With the power of the four Infinity Maidens, I control all aspects of the universe!"

"She has them _all_?" Oscar gasped.

 _(I don't remember calling them that,)_ Ozpin added. _(I fear we may have ended up in yet another alternate world.)_

_Oh yeah? What gave you that idea?_

As the mob began to run past them, Oscar could make out faces he recognized. He saw Yang Xiao Long, her fists glowing like superheated metal. Running alongside her looked like Blake Belladonna, but clad entirely in a skin-tight black suit, complete with cat ears and claws.

"Penny!" Oscar broke away from his amazement. "This _clearly_ isn't the right place. We need to try again!"

"I am ready when you are," Penny replied, before a particularly hard blow from Neo broke her grasp on the woman.

* * *

For a split second Penny's grasp loosed, and Neo took the chance. She kicked the robot off her, springing up onto her feet. With a quick dash she made her way to the boy with the Relic, but this time it wasn't her goal.

She snatched the remote from out of his hand; it was this thing that kept pushing them into new worlds. With this, she could get back to Roman, but she had to ditch the others first.

Penny tried several quick jabs to stop her, but Neo was too agile, being only slightly nicked by them. She took off sprinting as fast as she could into the fray that was unfolding.

Salem was here, and her forces were raining down havoc upon Atlas. The army of Atlesians resisting were all dressed strangely; they fought back with a variety of semblances Neo had never seen before. She didn't have time to spectate, though; Roman was waiting.

She dodged an incoming Grimm and a redheaded girl with a giant hammer calling down lightning from the storm clouds. She wasn't noticed, and that was her plan: zip through the chaos until she could find a chance to hide.

This was going to be harder than she thought, as Salem began to rain down small meteors from the sky, each one slamming into the ground with a purposeful thud, throwing up debris and dirt into the air.

Neo had to get out of there fast, or she would never get the chance to see him again.

* * *

"No!" Oscar shouted as Neo took off into the distance with the device. "You had _one job_ , Penny!"

"It's fine," Penny beamed back. "I placed a tracking device on her as she ran past. She won't be able to hide for long!"

"Oh, how convenient," Oscar sighed. "What if she destroys it? Or tosses it off the city?"

"Good point…" Penny acknowledged. With a burst of power she activated her boot thrusters. "I'll be right back, Oscar!" she shouted, before zipping off in the general direction of Neo's trail.

"And what am I supposed to do here?!" Oscar shouted, but Penny had already disappeared. Hellfire had begun to rain down upon the battlefield as strange and wild fighters struggled against the Grimm onslaught, Salem watching from high above.

Weiss Schnee fired arrows of ice, sniping Grimm out of the sky as Ruby, flying in her armor, zapped at the beasts with magic lasers from her hands and chest.

"What are you _doing_?" an annoyed voice yelled in Oscar's direction. A dog Faunus with a leather jacket and twin pistols came around the corner.

_Is that Marrow from the Ace Ops?_

"I'm not sure if you noticed," Marrow said, "but there's kind of a _battle_ going on? Maybe help out?"

"What am I supposed to do against those things?" Oscar shot back.

Another soldier, a woman with green skin, navy blue hair and a weapon that looked like two crossbows joined together in a staff, joined the man. "What's the problem?"

_She was one of Robyn's huntresses, wasn't she? I think her name was May._

"This punk suddenly doesn't want to fight," Marrow said.

May looked visibly agitated, pointing her weapon in the direction of the conflict. "Get your web slinging ass out there before I punt you out there!"

_Web...slinging?_

_(I believe she has mistaken you for someone else…)_

_Thanks, I didn't realize._

"C'mon, babe," Marrow said as he began to head to battle. "Munchkin here can sit in time out, we've got business to handle."

"Don't call me babe," May sighed, following him.

(It would probably be prudent to stay hidden until Penny gets back.) Ozpin suggested.

Oscar groaned. He didn't want to keep hiding and waiting on Penny, but he wasn't entirely sure his skills would be enough to take on the Grimm. Either way, he was sidelined until Penny returned.

If she returned at all.

* * *

Neo was fast running out of breath as she sprinted across the battlefield. If he could reach the edge of the city, _Hush_ could carry her down to Mantle where she could easily hide.

Just as she thought she might finally be free, a meteor landed in her path, stopping her dead in her tracks. As the dust settled, however, she realized it wasn't a meteor at all. It was Penny.

At least, she looked like Penny, but her normal green and white outfit was black and red and crimson energy flowed out from her fingertips. Her eyes shone with the same bright color, and Neo had a feeling her escape was being complicated.

"You took...everything from me!" The girl said. Neo didn't even know who she was.

She felt an incredible force wrap around her body, hoisting her into the air as the red Penny contorted her fingers, blood red energy spilling out from them. This was it, she was trapped. She clutched the remote tightly in her hand. If only she could reach the central flashing button, she could be free.

"Stop right there!" the cheery voice of the _real_ Penny grated at Neo's ears. She had caught up with her somehow.

"Back off," the red Penny growled. "She's mine!"

"I'm sorry," actual Penny replied. "I need to borrow Miss Neo for a while."

* * *

The girl looked just like her, albeit with much worse taste in fashion. She also seemed to be exuding an incredible amount of aura, trapping Neo in midair. It looked quite painful.

Penny activated _Floating Array_ ; she didn't want to fight this alternate version of herself, but she needed the remote back. She also needed Neo, too.

She thrust her weapons forwards, knocking the red copy off balance as she tried to defend herself. As Penny yanked the strings on her blades back, she angled them upwards, allowing them to wrap around Neo's floating body. As the weapons spun around her, the strings became taut and Penny pulled hard.

Neo was now ensnared by both the red Penny's aura binds and _Floating Array_ 's strings. "Hold on, Miss Neo!" Penny shouted as her thrusters kicked into high gear. She blasted off, yanking Neo free.

Penny took to the air, flying back towards the city proper with Neo wrapped tightly behind her, dodging meteors and Grimm all the while.

An enormous explosion caught Penny's attention as she flew, trying to look behind while not running into anything. The behemoth Grimm that Salem had rode in on had taken a major hit and was falling out of the sky. It was coming down directly onto the battlefield.

"We have to hurry!" Penny shouted. "Oscar is waiting just over there!"

The boy had hidden once more in an alleyway and Penny came in hot, landing with a hard clank on the concrete. Neo followed, with much less grace, as she skidded to a stop.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Neo!" Penny said.

"That's what she gets for stealing the remote!" Oscar scoffed.

 _The remote!_ Penny recalled _Floating Array_ and inspected Neo's hands; she still held the device tightly. Removing it from her hand, she handed the device to Oscar.

"Which button do we press to go home?" he asked, as if Penny might know the answer.

"I'm not sure," she admitted.

"How am _I_ supposed to know that?" Oscar shouted.

 _Oh! He must be speaking with Ozpin_.

The ground began to quake severely; the giant Grimm must have touched down finally. They needed to hurry.

"We need to leave quickly!" Penny advised.

"We're trying to figure it out!" Oscar replied.

The low rumble of an incoming shockwave triggered Penny's self-preservation alarms. They could not wait any long.

She lunged forward and grabbed the remote from Oscar, pressing the glowing central button with all her might. The now familiar light enveloped them as the destructive force of the shockwave washed over the city.

* * *

Oscar didn't know for sure where they had ended up this time, but the architecture reminded him of Mistral. It was still night; not the same night obviously, but the streets of the town were lit up with hanging lanterns just like he remembered. They had ended up on a street corner with a stone walkway heading to another level of the city.

"Why did you do that?" Oscar asked Penny, frustration in his voice. If they were ever going to find their way home, they would need to understand how the remote worked. Ozpin had proposed that they may be able to step backwards through the worlds they have visited, or perhaps enter specific coordinates for their home world.

But Penny had reacted hastily, and now they were even further from Atlas. Further from home.

"I'm sorry," Penny sulked.

"How can you be so careless?" Oscar shouted, his temper overflowing now. "Aren't you supposed to be better than normal humans? You almost let Neo get away with our only way home, and now we don't know where we are again."

 _(Oscar,)_ Ozpin said, _(Penny only did what she thought was right. Yelling will not solve our…)_

"No!" Oscar said aloud. "I need to get home! I need to help Ruby and the others."

Neo got up off the ground, dusting herself off.

"And you!" Oscar turned to her.

Neo pointed at herself in surprise.

"Yes, _you_! What were you trying to accomplish with that stunt? Did you _want_ to stay in that alternate universe? Ozpin says you're some sort of master criminal, but you seem pretty stupid to me!"

Neo started back at him with a blank look on her face.

"Well?" Oscar stomped his foot at Neo. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

She simply pointed to her mouth and gave a quick head shake.

"I don't think she can speak," Penny added.

"Oh that's just great!" Oscar threw his arms up in frustration. "I'm stuck in an alternate reality with an incompetent robot and a brainless mute thief!"

In a cloud of pink dust, Neo shrunk down and transformed before Oscar's eyes into an exact copy of himself. She then proceeded to make several unflattering expressions, throwing a silent tantrum.

"That's not helping!" Oscar yelled.

Neo transformed back, a devious grin on her face.

"Hey, hey, who's making all that noise?" a gruff voice called out to them. From out of a nearby building stumbled a very drunk man with messy black hair and desperate need of a razor.

"Qrow?" Oscar said, hesitant to speak to anyone from this reality for fear of what strange traits they may unveil. The stumbling Qrow seemed as normal as ever, but Oscar wasn't going to let his guard down.

Qrow took a swig from his flash and wiped his lips. "Kid?" he said in shock. "What're you doing out here?"

 _(Another case of mistaken identity?)_ Ozpin suggested.

Qrow came over to them and snatched Oscar by the wrist, pulling him away. "Come on, back to the house you go."

"Wait!" Oscar shouted. "I'm not who you think I am!"

"Yeah, Ozpin's comin' too. You won't escape the girls that easily."

* * *

They had definitely come to Mistral; Qrow had taken Oscar back to the same lodge they had stayed in. The same place he had first met all of them. Despite his persistence, nothing about this world seemed any different from what he remembered.

Qrow threw upon the door to the lodge and tossed Oscar in roughly. "Girls!" he shouted, "Did you lose something?"

"Oscar!" came the sweet sound of Ruby's voice. It brought a smile to Oscar's face, but as she rounded the corner the smile faded.

Ruby Rose came into the living room dressed in a miniature black bikini, leather knee high boots and leather gloves, with a folded up whip in her hand.

"I'm glad you decided to come back," Ruby said with a devilish smirk. "The fun's just getting started."


	4. The Gods Have Abandoned Us, But We'll Get Through This Together

"Be gentle with the little scamp," Qrow grumbled, pushing Oscar into the living room. He stumbled onto the floor, averting his eyes from Ruby's promiscuous outfit.

_What is she wearing? I want to look but…_

_(Sorry, Oscar, but you're on your own for this one.)_

"Wait!" Oscar cried out loud. "Don't leave!"

"Oh, sweetie," Ruby said, kneeling down to him and lifting his chin up. "I'd never leave you."

"I'm heading back to the bar," Qrow said. "Keep the party contained, will ya?" The door shut behind him, and Oscar was left in the room with Ruby who now wore a sinister looking grin.

"We're going to have so much fun," she smiled.

"Ruby, please," Oscar was sweating profusely, trying to keep his eyes far from the outline of Ruby's bikini. "I-i've never... I mean…"

She stroked his hair gently, "I know, babe." she soothed. "My first time was scary too, but Weiss and I are gonna take _real_ good care of you."

 _Weiss_?!

As if on cue, Weiss Schnee's voice echoed from the hallway. "Ruby! Are you coming or what?"

Oscar felt the blood rushing to his head as Weiss appeared from the hall wearing nothing but a pair of miniscule white panties that left nothing to the imagination.

"Oh, Oscar came back," Weiss said. "Good, I've got the nipple clamps ready."

* * *

Penny had tried shouting after the drunken Qrow Branwen as he had drug Oscar away, but he had not listened. Instead, she had tailed them back to a house where Qrow had left the boy before heading back to where they had first appeared. Neo had followed her, if reluctantly, as Penny still held the remote.

Neo tapped her palm impatiently.

"No, Miss Neo." Penny replied, "We cannot leave without Oscar."

In a flash of pink smoke Neo transformed into Oscar once more, posing excitedly.

"That is a nice trick," Penny said, "but we need the _real_ Oscar. He still has the Relic of Knowledge."

Neo returned to her regular form, a look of disgust on her face.

"I know you want to get back to your friend."

Neo's eyes widened, then narrowed at Penny's words. She had not forgotten about the man from Vale that Neo had tried to escape with.

"Roman Torchwick," Penny accessed her data banks, "Master criminal, thief, and conspirator in the attack on Beacon Academy. He is currently wanted by the authorities in all four kingdoms, but his whereabouts are unknown."

Neo removed the bowler hat from her head and held it to her chest with her head down. Penny watched as the scene of Mistral changed before her eyes. She was now on top of an airship in Vale; far below she could see the chaos on the campus of Beacon Academy.

Ruby Rose was fighting with Roman, but she was losing. "You wanna be a hero!?" he cried at the defeated girl, "Then play the part and die like every other Huntsman in history!" He hit her once more with his cane, knocking Ruby to the floor.

"As for me, I'll do what I do best: lie, steal, cheat, and survive!"

As he spoke those words, an enormous Alpha Griffon swooped down and closed its beak around him. The scene shattered, and Penny found herself back in Mistral. Neo was there as well, but she sat crouched upon a nearby step, her face buried into Roman's hat.

Penny was at a loss for words. She had not dealt with grief much in her life; the concept of it seemed so foreign to her.

"He was important to you?"

Neo nodded.

Penny sat down next to the girl and placed her arm around her. She had seen others do this to comfort their human friends.

"I…" she paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "I do not understand death. I have died once, but I am different. My father tells me that he will die someday, buty that I will live on long after he does. When I think of life without him, I believe I feel very sad, because I would like him to always be there."

Penny paused for a moment. Was she making sense?

"I do not truly understand how you feel, Miss Neo," she continued, "but if you help Oscar and I return to Atlas, I promise I will help you to find your Roman."

Neo looked up from her hat, tears streaming down her cheeks. She cast a hurt glance towards Penny; perhaps she had said the wrong thing?

"I know he is gone right now, but father tells me that nothing is impossible. When Winter Schnee takes over the power of the Winter Maiden, I'm sure she will help us."

Neo let out a deep sigh, burying her head back into the hat.

"I _know_ she will help us," Penny reiterated, "because you love him."

Penny felt Neo begin to sob before succumbing to her friendly embrace.

* * *

Ozpin was silent, and Oscar found himself ever in need of sage advice. Stripped to his underwear, a pair of black boxer briefs, his ankles and feet were tied to a stiff wooden chair in one of the bedrooms of the house.

To his left, he could hear the muffled sounds of Nora Valkyrie engaged in what he only wished was rigorous bed jumping. To his right, the whimpering of Jaune Arc was audible from another room.

"Come on Jaune-y boy," erupted the boisterous voice of Yang Xiao Long, "slay this dragon! Fuck me like volume three fucked Pyrrha!"

"Oh god why!" Jaune cried out.

 _What the hell is going on_ , Oscar wondered. _Did I suppress some really bad memories or something?_

The door to the room swung open and slammed the wall with a loud thud, startling him. Ruby and Weiss had returned; an unhealthy assortment of props and devices in their arms. Weiss was still not wearing a top, and Oscar averted his eyes quickly.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Osky Wosky," Ruby beamed.

Weiss gasped, "Ruby, look! I think I see a little chub."

_Oh no, please no, not like this!_

Ruby came over to Oscar's chair and got up onto his lap, the warmth from her body rubbing against his groin.

"Oh you're right," Ruby grinned, "I _feel_ it too." She leaned down and touched her forehead to Oscar's. "Do you have a little present for me?"

_L...little?_

"Please, Ruby," Oscar pleaded, desperately trying to avoid the barely clothed girl straddling him. "I don't know why you're doing this, but I am _not_ _okay with it!_ "

Weiss walked behind the chair and massaged Oscar's shoulders. She leaned down and whispered into his ear, "Quit being such a pussy." And then he felt something soft against the back of his head.

_Oh god…. She's pressing them… against me…_

"Good idea," Ruby added. She reached a single hand behind her, and Oscar watched the black bikini top fall from her body to the floor. Despite his struggles, his head was now wedged in between Ruby's uncovered breasts, and she was gyrating on his lap with a degree of force.

A loud crash from the hallway caught the girls' attention, and they graciously stopped their sexual onslaught.

"What was that?" Weiss asked.

"Nora's probably going overboard again," Ruby sighed, dismounting Oscar's chair. "We should check on her, just in case."

Now free, Oscar pulled with all his might, but the restraints would not break.

"Now, now," Weiss chided him. "We'll be back in just a second, so you stay put."

As Ruby peeked into the hallway, she shrieked. "What the… where did all this blood come from?"

Oscar couldn't see what she was talking about, but a quick flash of steel passed by the door. Red spray erupted from Ruby's neck, painting the hallway wall. Oscar's eyes widened with horror and he struggled harder against his restraints.

_What now?! What is going on!?_

"Ruby!" Weiss screamed as her friend's body hit the floor, still spewing blood. Yang appeared in the threshold from the other room; thankfully she had donned a large black hoodie before emerging.

"Yang!" Weiss said, "Ruby's d—"

Yang took Weiss' head and slammed it against the wall, leaving a sizeable crack in the boards. She repeated the violent action several more times until the girl's forehead, and the damaged wall, were saturated in blood. Weiss' body fell limp beside Ruby's and Yang turned her attention to Oscar.

"Oh my god!" Oscar cried, "Yang, please! Stop this!"

With only a sinister grin upon her face, Yang closed the bedroom door, shutting out the sickening scene outside. As soon as they were alone, a cloud of pink dust erupted and Oscar found himself staring at Neopolitan.

He didn't know whether to feel horrified or overjoyed, but Neo put a finger to her lips, urging silence. Her glance then fell to his boxer briefs, Ruby's handiwork had not yet worn off.

Covering her face with her hands, and holding back a grimace, Neo inched forwards and used a kitchen knife to quickly free Oscar from his chair binds

Without a word, Oscar leapt to the corner of the room where his clothes had been carelessly thrown onto the floor and hastily dressed himself. He caught Neo snickering at him once more.

"Not a word of _any_ of this to Penny!" he whispered.

Neo gave a playful eye roll before opening the bedroom window. A cool breeze blew in from the free world outside.

"What is _this!?_ " Nora's voice came from the other room. "You started the blood orgy without me _again?!_ "

Neo waved Oscar through the window hurriedly and the two made their escape into the night.

* * *

The plan had worked perfectly! Penny beamed as Neo and a visibly distressed Oscar made their way down the road to her hiding spot.

"Great work, Miss Neo!" Penny offered a high five to celebrate, but Neo did not return the gesture.

"Well," Oscar straightened his coat, "I'm glad everyone is all friendly now, but can we _please_ get going?"

"Did you find anything out about this world?" Penny asked.

"I just want to leave this place!" Oscar shouted. A group of nearby bird vacated their roost at his outburst.

Neo bent over and pinched Oscar's cheeks before looking to Penny and nodding.

"Very well," Penny agreed. "May our next destination be our home!" She pressed the giant glowing button on the remote and the group disappeared once more.

* * *

Neo had still not become used to the light that overcame the group when they changed worlds, and she squinted through it to try and make out their new destination.

It was dark; the light of the moon illuminated a single scene before her eyes. She saw Cinder Fall, that devilish woman, standing before a girl with red hair and golden armor.

"Do you believe in destiny?" the girl asked as she sat on the ground, helpless.

Cinder hesitated a moment, before replying, "Yes." She stepped back, getting ready to draw her weapon. This was Neo's chance, to strike down that wretched woman who stole her Roman away. That arrogant harpy who'd corrupted him with lies of power and wealth, only to abandon them both once they had played their part in her scheme.

She drew _Hush_ and leapt forward, preparing to strike Cinder while she least expected it.

"Cut!" a man's voice shouted.

Neo froze in her tracks; suddenly a hundred lights illuminated the space around her. She saw a large group of people all gathered around, spectating on Cinder's actions. The woman now knew she was there; both Cinder and the other girl did not look amused to see her.

The man's voice called out again. "What the hell is Neo doing on set?"


	5. We Have To Go Back, This is Too Meta

"That take was _perfect!_ " Pyrrha shouted, angrily getting to her feet and dusting off her knees.

"Whatever," Cinder folded her arms, "I'm going for coffee, you coming?"

"Sure," Pyrrha replied, "I need to get away from these amateurs."

"Okay, okay," the man in the director's chair said. "Take lunch, I want everyone back to finish up at 2:30."

 _What is this place?_ Oscar wondered.

 _(It appears to be some sort of production.)_ Ozpin's voice came into his head.

_Oh, now you choose to come back! Where have you been?_

_(Conflict of interest, Oscar. Those were my students, you know.)_

"Ozpin!" Penny cried.

"Yes, he's finally back," Oscar replied, but realized Penny couldn't possibly know he was conversing inside his own head. "Wait, what?"

"And who might you two be?" Standing before them was Professor Ozpin, complete with his intricate spectacles and shades-of-green suit.

_(It certainly looks like me...did I always wear so much green?)_

"Are you kids of someone on the crew?" the clearly alive Ozpin asked.

"No, sir, Professor," Penny answered. "We came here fro—"

"From another city!" Oscar cut Penny off. "We've come from another city to see the show."

"Ah," Ozpin smiled, taking a sip from his white coffee mug, "Well, shooting is scheduled to wrap up soon, but the new season won't be airing until the winter I'm afraid."

"Shannon are these kids bothering you?" the director had come over to them.

"Not at all Miles," Ozpin replied. "I was actually looking for Monty. I had some questions about the choreography for my 'final battle' with Jessica."

"He's got the day off today," Miles replied. "But you kids can't be back here, I'm gonna have to have security escort you back outside."

"That...won't be necessary," Oscar swallowed hard at the thought of a brutish goon throwing him onto the pavement. "We'll leave, we just need Ne…wait where is Neo?"

"Probably getting chewed out for messing up that beautiful scene. But, no, you can't take her with you. Now move along before I have to call security."

"But we can't go without Miss Neo!" Penny tried to explained, but Oscar gave her a hard shove towards the studio exit.

"Sorry to bother you!" he called back as the two made their exit.

"Wait just a moment!" Miles called out after them. "Young lady, what is that in your hand?"

Penny held up the remote, "This?"

"Looks like some kind of prop," Ozpin said between sips.

"My thoughts exactly," Miles replied, walking over to Penny. "Sorry kid, but no souvenirs. The gift shop is out front." He snatched the device from Penny's hands and began heading back to the set.

"Wait!" Oscar tried to reason. "That's ours! We brought it here!"

"Yo! Security!" Miles called out, "Can we get these two out of here already?"

"We need to go, now!" Oscar turned to leave.

"But what about the remote?" Penny asked.

"Worry about that later, let's just get out of here before they lock us up!"

* * *

The woman who looked like Cinder, but was clearly not, had left, while Penny and Oscar had caused a commotion. Neo took the opportunity to sneak off and check out more of this strange world of look-alikes.

From the large open studio she made her way into a series of hallways with dressing rooms, each one empty save for one closed door. Neo decided to take a peek inside and was shocked to see Ruby Rose, or at least someone who looked very much like her, engaged in a romantic display with a blonde monkey faunus. Neo quickly closed the door and kept on moving.

Down another hallway she found a room labelled "Merchandising." Intrigued by the thought of valuables, Neo thrust the door open to find Yang Xiao Long standing in the dark surrounded by shelves full of various boxed goods. Startled by the door opening, Yang turned.

"Oh, hey!" she grinned. "I was just...checking on our fine stock of merch!"

Neo wasn't sure how to react.

"Is it time for me to get my arm cut off yet?"

Without a word, naturally, Neo backed out of the room and left Yang in the darkness.

"Hey, you getting into trouble?" A man's voice came from behind and she jumped around to face him.

Neo took a step back in shock; it was Roman.

* * *

"Oscar!" Penny persisted, "We need the remote to get home."

"I know that!" Oscar shot back. "But we can't just go around messing up these worlds!"

"What do you mean?"

"Neo…" Oscar paused. "She killed people, Penny! In order to rescue me back there, she slaughtered Ruby and Weiss and...probably more people. What if Salem tries to take over that world? Who will protect it?"

Penny hadn't stopped to think about that. Her only focus had been to get the three of them back to their original world, not the effect they had on the worlds they visited.

Oscar's eyes flashed and Ozpin took over. " _Let's not get lost in the minutiae of the moment. Neapolitan is at large, and we cannot leave without her. More importantly, we cannot let her get to the device before we do_."

"But," Penny said, "Miss Neo agreed to help us. Why would she leave without us now?"

" _She is not to be trusted, Penny_ ," Ozpin said. " _I'm not sure how you managed to get her to cooperate, but that woman will always put her own goals before our collective cause._ "

 _Would Miss Neo really do that?_ Penny didn't understand; she thought she had bonded quite well with Neo in the previous world. She had meant everything she said; she was going to do everything she could to help Neo get her important person back. So why would Neo betray her?

Oscar's eyes flashed again and the boy was back to normal. "We need to figure out a way back inside to get the remote."

"Yes," Penny agreed. "And we must find Miss Neo."

* * *

It was clearly Roman Torchwick; he had the same height and build, the same adorable tuft of ginger hair hanging over his face. His outfit, however, was something Neo had never seen him wear in all their time together. He wore a fitted black t-shirt that showed his physique nicely, as well as some blue jeans and simple looking tan boots.

She liked it.

"What's with that getup?" Roman asked, looking Neo up and down. "They gave you a new outfit already? I figured we were both done after this season."

Season? What was he talking about?

"Cat got your tongue?" Roman chuckled.

Neo crossed her arms annoyedly; the illusion was ruined, this wasn't her Roman.

" _Oh_ , okay. I get it. Method acting. Never understood it myself."

What was he talking about? Neo was getting annoyed; she had seen enough, it was time to get back to the others and leave.

"Not gonna lie, I'll miss working with you," Roman sighed. "I really didn't expect they'd kill me off like that. Hurts, really, but I enjoyed the time I got to spend with you."

Neo wanted to believe it was him; the words he was saying made her feel so warm inside, even if they weren't meant for her. She unfolded her arms and took a step towards Roman, looking deep into his eyes. They were the same eyes, that much was for sure. Maybe she could get used to those eyes?

"Anyway, the wife and I are gonna be having some cast and crew over later for a wrap party. You should come."

His...wife?

* * *

Outside the studio, Penny and Oscar made their way around the building, looking for another entrance into the building to retrieve their remote. Neither of them recognized the kingdom they were currently in, but it was hot and sunny without a cloud in the sky. Penny suggested they might be in Vacuo, but Oscar had never been to that part of the world. She could be right, for all he knew, but he didn't care.

Were Ruby and the others still fighting at this point? How long had they spent hopping from world to world while the fate of their own was in peril? The thought of Atlas flying high into the atmosphere while Mantle burned was constantly on Oscar's mind.

Around the front of the building there was a gigantic line of people leading into a set of double doors; this was the first opportunity they had found.

"Everyone is lining up for something," Penny said.

Oscar examined the line and, to his surprise, found a large number of the people queuing were dressed just like his friends. He saw all manner of Ruby Roses, Weiss, Blake and Yang, even Jaune and his team. As they drew closer to the line, several people noticed them, particularly Penny.

"Long haired Penny?" one said. "Interesting, but I prefer the short hair design. Great detail though!"

"Thank you!" Penny beamed, though Oscar was sure she was just being polite.

"Who are you supposed to be?" a tall, lanky looking Weiss Schnee asked him.

"Uh," he stammered, "My name is Oscar Pine."

"Who?"

"Oscar is from Mistral," Penny volunteered. "Professor Ozpin is inside him."

The growing group of onlookers did not seem impressed.

"Oh, I see," the Weiss costumed girl said, "You're an OC. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose. But Ozpin's _inside_ you? That's overpowered."

 _I didn't exactly ask for it._ "Anyway," Oscar changed the subject, "What is this line for?"

A chubby looking Blake Belladonna with fake cat ears turned to face them. "It's the cast meet and greet. I _have_ to get Arryn to sign my _Gambol Shroud_." She produced a plastic replica of the Faunus' formidable weapon.

"How long have you been waiting?" Oscar asked.

"About three hours, but the line starts way back there," the faux Blake pointed along the line which crossed the giant studio lot and wrapped around the block until it vanished out of sight.

Oscar turned back to Penny. "We can't waste time waiting in line, there has to be another way."

"Fat chance," the tall Weiss laughed. "You've gotta wait in line like everyone else!"

 _We'll see about that_. Oscar grabbed Penny's arm and began storming to the front of the line. He was not about to wait for hours in an autograph line while the people of his world died. He had _The Long Memory_ , and Penny had her weapons as well; they would fight their way through if they had to.

 _(Do not act hastily, Oscar,)_ Ozpin cautioned, _(You criticized Neopolitan for resorting to violence, I would ask you not to follow this same path.)_

_This is different, we don't have a choice._

_(There's always a choice, Oscar)_

* * *

The front of the long line led into a set of doors; inside the studio lobby there were promotional images hung from the walls and plastered on signboards.

_RWBY: Volume 3 Coming Soon!_

Penny didn't have time to make out much of the details from the posters as Oscar drug her along through the entrance and up the line to a large congregation of people and cameras. Sitting at a long table under many lights were Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna, Nora Valkyrie, Mercury Black, Emerald Sustrai and…

"Miss Neo!"

She was dressed differently than when they had last seen her, but with her Semblance Penny realized Neo could have simply changed her appearance. Her outburst caught the attention of the entire group, plus the line of anxiously waiting fans.

"Hey, no cutting!" "Back of the line!"

"What do you think you're doing?" Oscar asked of Neo. "Do you have the remote?"

"What are you talking about?" Neo asked.

"You can talk!?" Both Penny and Oscar were in shock at hearing the woman's voice. But another high pitched squeal interrupted them..

"Oh my gosh!" Ruby erupted. "That is such a cute Penny cosplay!"

Penny turned to Ruby and gave a friendly wave. "Salutations!"

The entire panel of characters gasped and began to fawn over her.

"That impression is perfect!" Ruby cried.

"Seriously," Mercury added, "You got her mannerisms down perfectly. And that costume is so imaginative."

"We've gotta introduce you to Taylor," Blake said. "She should be backstage doing ADR."

Before Penny realized what was happening, a pair of burly men in suits were escorting her and Oscar away from the line and into the depths of the studio. They traveled through a pair of bulky doors labelled as "Staff Only" and into another lounge of sorts, where more commotion was erupting.

"I think she broke it!" cried a ginger haired man, nursing a fierce looking nosebleed on a couch while a woman attended to him.

"What happened, Gray?" one of the escorts asked the man.

"That bitch," the bleeding man cursed. "She's dressed up like Neo. I thought it was Casey, but she attacked me out of nowhere!"

"That's _our_ Neo!" Penny exclaimed. "Where did she go?"

"Wait?" Gray said. "You brats _know_ that crazy woman?"

"We came here together," Penny replied.

"Hold on a second," one of the big men stopped them in their tracks. "Are you the same kids who came in with this weird remote?" He held up the black device with the glowing central buttons.

"Penny!" Oscar shouted. "Now! Let's go!" He drew _The Long Memory_ and whacked one of the burly men in the knees, causing him to stumble backwards in pain. Penny activated her thrusters and leapt forward, snatching the remote from the other man.

"We're going to leave now, goodbye!" She spun, delivering a solid kick to the man's face, knocking him to the floor. Penny then reached out and took Oscar's hand, boosting off into an adjacent hallway.

* * *

An alarm began to sound; what could have happened now? That fake Roman with his stupid wife probably ratted her out. Neo was hiding in plain sight, using her Semblance to blend in as a janitor. A frantic man's voice came out over the PA system.

"Attention all security personnel, we have three dangerous individuals loose in the studio. Shut down all exits and sweep the entire building."

Three? So perhaps the kids had made a ruckus as well.

As if on cue Neo heard the sound of gratuitous apologizing amidst the blasts of rocket thrusters. Penny, carrying Oscar by the sleeve, flew around the corner and nearly ran into her. She reverted back to her normal appearance and grouped up with them.

"Penny!" Oscar cried out. "Neo's here! We need to go, now!"

"Right away!" Penny agreed. "Are you ready Miss Neo?"

The sound of very angry men could be heard coming down the hallway, and Neo nodded in reply.

Oscar hit the glowing button on the remote, whisking them away once more.

* * *

They were out of time. Arriving in any location that did not look like the room they originally left, or Atlas in general, caused Oscar to try for another world immediately.

First they ended up in the Vytal Festival, yet everyone was overly muscular and firing energy blasts from their hands.

Then they landed in Mountain Glenn, a place Penny and Oscar had not been to before, but Neo had. She easily confirmed that, while the White Fang were using it as a base, they were not anthropomorphic beasts.

Mistral again, but everyone was blind. Then Beacon Academy where the students were overcome with the urge to sing every word. Another trip to Mistral with time moving at half speed, and then to a hellscape known only as Florida.

Upon entering another darkened world, Penny finally felt the need to intervene. "Stop, Oscar!" she begged. "This is getting us nowhere."

"I need to get back!" Oscar shouted.

Penny tried to take the remote from Oscar, but he would not let it go. Neo also jumped in, trying to wrench it from either of their hands.

And then there was a loud crack as the remote snapped in half, the glowing center fading to nothingness.


	6. Top 10 Anime Betrayals, Part 4

Oscar couldn't believe his eyes, scooping up pieces of the broken remote in his hands. His only way home lay shattered before him.

"What have you done?!" he screamed at Neo. The woman shot back a confused look before pointing to Penny.

"Perhaps we were too rough with it," Penny observed, her voice too calm for Oscar to handle.

"You think?!" he cried. "Now we'll never get home! Ironwood's going to kill everyone, and it's all _your fault!_ "

( _Oscar, you must compose yourself_.)

"No!" Oscar shouted aloud. "I'll never get to see my friends again! I hate this! I hate all of y—"

A thunk on the head from Neo's umbrella caught him off guard, leaving a painful lump. He glared up at her, fists clenched and ready for a fight. Neo simply pointed with her umbrella upwards.

Oscar looked up, finally taking in just exactly where they were. The shadow of Atlas loomed high above them.

"We're in Mantle?"

"It would seem so," Penny added. Neo simply nodded.

"What's your point?" Oscar shot back at Neo. "So we're in Mantle. How does that change _anything_?"

Neo sighed and rolled her eyes, walking over and picking up the broken pieces of the remote from Oscar's hands. She pointed at it, and then back up to the hulking mass of city above them.

"She's right!" Penny exclaimed.

"She...is…?"

"We might be able to find another remote in this world. We just need to get to the Atlesian Academy!"

The idea was so incredibly stupid that, for a moment, Oscar wanted to believe it. After the things he had seen, the idea that something so simple could be possible was alien to him.

"What makes you think there even _will_ be another one?" Oscar refuted. "What if this world is full of tentacle monsters? Or everyone is a ghost? Or technology is all based around pasta?!"

Penny and Neo both looked at each other, before Penny placed a hand on Oscar's shoulder.

"You've been through a lot, Oscar," she said. "But we won't get home without trying to find another remote."

She was right, and Oscar hated it. He hated how optimistic Penny could be, minutes after her carelessness destroyed their only way home. Yet he still had to trust that she knew what she was doing. Everyone in _their_ world was counting on it.

* * *

Penny's thrusters were powerful enough to boost herself up to Atlas while Neo and Oscar held on tight. There seemed to be a skirmish of sorts going on at the Academy.

"Has the fight already started?" Oscar shouted over Penny's jets.

"I do not think so," Penny responded. The skies were dark, but there wasn't a Grimm in sight. As they flew closer it appeared that the combatants were human, with a handful of Faunus sprinkled throughout. A Faunus with a long, slender tail and blonde hair was leading the charge on the Academy steps.

"I believe that man is Sun Wukong," Penny explained. "He is the leader of Team SSSN, and fought at the Vytal Festival recently."

"Is he a good guy or a bad guy?" Oscar asked.

Penny wasn't sure; the last time she remembered Sun was the tournament. She couldn't recall anything nefarious about him, but yet here he was leading an attack on Atlas Academy.

As Penny came in for a landing the forces seemed to separate, making room for her. Oscar and Neo let go and felt for their weapons.

"The protector of Mantle!" someone in the crowd yelled.

"She'll bring us to victory!" said another.

"She would never join _your_ kind!" shouted a fighter on the other side.

"I am not here to fight!" Penny stated loudly. "I seek access to the Academy, may we pass through?"

"Yeah, right!" Sun Wukong's cocky voice sounded as he appeared at the front of the army lines. "As long as Blake's being held captive, they won't let _any_ of us in!"

"Wait," Oscar interrupted, "who's holding Blake captive?"

Penny felt a tap on her shoulder, as Neo gave her a confused look.

"The one with the cat ears," Penny explained, which earned a thumbs up from the silent one.

"These _assholes_ ," Sun shot daggers at the army blocking the entrance, "are keeping her from me! We're destined to be together, they just can't see it."

"As if monkey brain!"

All attention turned to the Academy entrance as the voice of Yang Xiao Long echoed out. She began heading through the soldiers; they parted as she walked. "You two had your fun, but _I'm_ the one who helped her kill her abusive ex."

"I would've done that!" Sun retorted.

"Yeah, but you didn't, did you?" Yang smirked. "Don't worry, I'll take _real_ good care of her."

"You can't satisfy her like a man could!"

Yang held up her robotic right arm. "Believe me, this thing is for more than just kicking ass."

As the two continued to bicker, Penny managed to catch the other's attention and slowly creep their way past the incensed army and into the Academy, leaving the fight behind. It would have been a clean getaway too, had they not immediately run into a frantic looking Ruby Rose.

"Ruby!" Oscar beamed. "What is going on? They said you had Blake held priso—"

"Oscar, no time!" Ruby shouted, panting. "I can't find my dad, and I think he's in trouble!"

"Tai is here?" Penny asked, curiously. She didn't know much about Ruby's father, but she couldn't imagine why he would have come all the way to Atlas with them.

"Not Tai!" Ruby shook her head. "I'm talking about my dad, Qrow!"

* * *

"Since when was Qrow your father?" Oscar asked, shocked by this revelation.

"Probably since I was born," Ruby responded, a hint of frustration in her voice.

"Ruby!" another man's voice came from down the hall. The shaggy blonde mess that was Jaunce Arc rounded the corner, panting as he came to a stop by them. "Did you… find him yet?"

"No!" Ruby replied, "but Penny and Oscar are going to help us look!"

"We are?" Penny said, confused, throwing a glance at Oscar who was equally concerned.

"Actually," Oscar began, "we're looking for something too."

"Alright!" Jaune pounded his fists together enthusiastically. "Help us find Qrow, and then we'll do your less important thing."

"Aww, babe," Ruby swooned. "You're so helpful." She threw her arms around Jaune and their lips met. Oscar felt his stomach churn.

_They're dating? How?_

_(Jealous, are we?)_ Ozpin teased.

Oscar didn't have time to think about his response, as the two lovers dashed away, pulling him and Penny along.

* * *

Once again, Neo watched as the others were dragged off and she was seemingly ignored. Perhaps she needed a flashier outfit? It didn't matter, the remote was somewhere in this building and the brats were out of the picture.

This was her moment.

The halls of Atlas Academy were familiar to her at this point; it had only been a few hours ago that she was stalking Oscar for the Relic of Knowledge. If only she had been faster, she could have caught him before he met Penny. Before they found that stupid remote in the first place.

Effortlessly she weaved through the nondescript halls; a left here, another left, a right. Within moments she had found the corridor. The technology room, however, was already opened. Peeking inside, Neo was shocked to find it occupied already.

By herself.

Despite not making a sound, the other Neo whirred around to face her. She held the remote in her hands. Neo felt relieved that another device existed, but why did her doppleganger have it?

This world's Neo flashed the remote, and Neo nodded back. The other Neo tucked the device in her behind her back; she obviously knew what it could do and was not about to give it up without a fight. Neo readied _Hush_ in preparation for what this _other_ her had in store.

* * *

A sizable group of people had assembled inside a transport heading outside of Mantle in pursuit of the missing Qrow Branwen.

Ruby and her beloved Jaune had also enlisted the help of Weiss Schnee, Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren. Yang was still apparently busy fighting off Sun's army in their battle over Blake, who had remained absent from the scene.

The ride had become uncomfortable, as Oscar's curiosity had gotten the better of him in this foreign world.

"Are you _shaming_ me, Oscar Pine?" Weiss said harshly, her eyes like lasers into the boy who was clearly distressed.

"I just asked what it _was_!" Oscar replied. "I didn't need to _see_ it!"

"Aww, poor baby. Did your curiosity get the better of you?"

"Correction," Penny interrupted. "Oscar said, 'I've never heard of a Schneenis before. What is that? Is it a type of animal?'"

"It's okay, Osky Woksy," Nora cooed. "Someday you'll grow up to have a Schneenis of your very own."

Even with his face buried in his hands, Oscar felt the heat of his cheeks radiating. He looked up momentarily and met eyes with Ruby, but both turned away instantly.

He just sat there, defeated. In his own world, Ironwood had probably already sent Atlas high into the sky. The people of Mantle would be overrun with Grimm, but their screams would never reach the heights of civilization. All of his friends would likely try to fight the oppression, but a handful of barely adults versus the greatest armed force in Remnant didn't have great odds.

Now he was stuck in this hell. Yang and Sun were having a literal war over Blake Belladonna, Ruby and Jaune were a romantic couple, Qrow was Ruby's father, and Weiss had that… thing. Neo had slipped away once more and was probably searching for the remote that moment. Oscar highly doubted that their time together had made the woman sympathetic

He and Penny would be stuck here. Forever. This was his life now.

* * *

Throughout the halls of Atlas Academy, the echoes of conflict rang out as Neo and her otherworldly self did battle.

It was a fight for the ages, a spectacle so breathtaking that if someone were to try and describe it in detail, they would surely fail. And if an audience had expected to hear this detailed description, they would surely be upset by its omission.

When the dust settled, however, Neo stood victorious, holding the device in her hand, ready to say goodbye to this world. She didn't know where Penny and Oscar had been dragged off to, and she did not care.

She pressed the central glowing button on the remote, and was enveloped in light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has honestly been the hardest to finish. We're at roughly the midpoint of the story, I would say, and even when I outlined this thing Chapter 6 was always the sketchy one. It went through several iterations before I finally decided on an idea for the world. Then, halfway through the chapter I realized I didn't like that idea, so I changed it again. So I apologize if this chapter feels lacking or sloppy, things will be tightened up from here on out as we ramp up to the dramatic conclusion. Thanks everyone for your patience!


	7. It's Almost Over, I Promise

The 'Many Worlds Theory.' That's what Pietro had called it. It was the idea that their reality, everything in their universe, was contained in a single space. Outside this space, were other universes; other realities. He had explained that some could be slightly different, maybe a single detail changed. Others, however, could be unrecognizable.

Penny had initially been overtaken with curiosity; she wished to explore those other worlds and see what they had to offer. She had gotten her wish.

"I think I see someone!" Ruby shouted. Everyone in the transport snapped to attention.

Just on the horizon a few figures could be seen on the icy plains outside Mantle. Penny's visual sensors could see much further than the others, and she identified three individuals. One was a Faunus with a large scorpion tail, someone Penny had not seen before. Nearby was their target, Qrow Branwen, looking just as he did in her own world. On the ice was the bloodsoaked body of Clover Ebi, leader of the Atlesian Ace Ops.

"There has been a fight," Penny said, flatly. "One casualty."

"Someone's hurt?" Jaune turned to her.

"Is Qrow okay?" Ruby interjected.

Before Penny could answer, the scene was close enough for the rest to see. Gasps began to emit from most in the transport as they approached the gruesome scene. The transport stopped near the men and the doors opened; everyone flowed out ready for a fight.

"Dad, you're alive!" Ruby cried, running to Qrow with a huge embrace.

"Aye," Qrow replied in his gruff manner. "But this asshole…" he pointed at the Faunus man. "He killed Clover!"

Ruby turned to face the Faunus. "Tyrion!" she shouted, "What have you done!?"

"Nice to see you too," Tyrion grinned, "but I'm hurt! How quickly you accuse _me_ when my weapon is clean." He brandished his weapons and flourished his metallic tail; they were indeed free of blood.

Qrow's _Harbinger_ , however, was covered in it.

"This is a set up!" Oscar spoke up.

"You're goddamn right," Qrow spat into the ice. "He killed my lover with my own blade! But you won't get away now!"

_His lover?_ "But I thought you were Ruby's father?" Penny asked. "Clover is a male, unable to bear children."

"Dad's bi," Ruby explained.

"Of course," Weiss chimed in. "Everyone's bi."

"I'm not…" Oscar said.

"Neither is spaghetti until it gets wet."

Penny did not understand, but assumed that this was just another quirk in the world she now inhabited.

"Uh," Nora stammered, "What's with the glow Penny?"

She had not realized, but there did seem to be a light emanating from her body. It also began to affect Oscar as well. It was similar to the effect the remote caused on them when they traveled to a new world, but neither of them had the device to do so.

That is when she heard a voice ringing in her head. "Sequence locked. Initiating timespace warp."

Then, there was nothing but light.

* * *

As the light faded, Oscar found himself in the strangest location yet: cold steel walls and the humming of machines as people scurried around him and Penny. Large portals on the walls were filled with near complete darkness, bespeckled with tiny points of light.

"Transference complete," a modulated voice spoke aloud. "Subject Oscar Pine, age 15, confirmed. Subject Penny Polendina, age 2, confirmed."

Oscar turned towards the voice and saw Weiss Schnee standing before him. At least, it _looked_ like Weiss: it seemed to be a metallic robot of some kind, plated almost entirely in gold.

"Where are we?" Oscar asked, "Who are you?"

"That is Schnee-3PO," a commanding male voice spoke. Oscar and Penny turned once more to see a blonde haired man standing next to an immensely tall beast covered in black and red hair. "I'm Jaune Solo, and this is my partner Rubacca."

"GRRRRAAAAAG!" The beastly thing roared before a derpy look came over its face.

"Salutations!" Penny waved, "I'm Penn—"

"I know who you both are," Jaune snapped. "I also know you've been screwing around in the multiverse."

Oscar took a step back in shock. "Wait, what?! How?!"

Jaune stepped aside and pointed behind him. Sitting on a crate with her hands and feet boud, was Neo.

"We caught your friend making a large number of jumps in short succession. Normally the scanners write it off as an anomaly, but this is the second event in the past few hours.

Neo stomped on the ground in protest.

"She says that they are not her friends." Schnee-3PO somehow translated.

Jaune seemed intrigued by this development. "Really now? Separate travelers then? Well then I suppose I should let you be on your way so I can deal with this woman"

Oscar couldn't believe it. Neo had tried to leave the last world without them, but this man, these people, caught her and managed to find him and Penny. And now he had a chance to return home. It was right in front of him.

"No, sir," Penny spoke before Oscar could. "Miss Neo may not be our friend, but she is our traveling companion."

_Unbelievable…_

"We just want to go home," Oscar quickly interjected. "We didn't mean to use the remote, and we've been stuck going world to world just trying to find our own."

Jaune laughed deeply, Rubacca let out a guttural sound that may have been laughter too.

"You kids have no idea how traveling works, do you?"

Neo kicked the crate again; Schnee-3PO translated, "She would like you to explain it to them instead of being a… oh my I don't think I can say that word."

Jaune shot a harsh glare at Neo before walking over to a large console in the center of the room. "The multiverse is infinite kiddos. You could see a new world every second for the rest of your lives and never once have it be your home world. Plus, all that quick traveling creates flux within the multiverse; undulations and sequencing errors."

"And that's not good, I assume?" Oscar responded.

"We're not meant to travel between worlds," Jaune continued. "Your energy belongs in your home world, and when you travel you inflate the worlds you travel to. Doing it too frequently can cause those worlds to shift violently, causes catastrophe."

"Well, help us get home so we don't have to keep traveling." Oscar thought it was a modest proposal.

"Not that simple, kid." Jaune tapped some buttons on his console and a large holographic image appeared. "First we need to analyze your energy signal to determine the sequence of your prime world. Then, to make that jump, we'll need a shitload of tits."

Oscar wasn't sure he heard the man right. "Did you say…"

"I can help with that!" Penny exclaimed, thrusting her chest outwards.

Jaune rolled his eyes. "Tetra-isomer transmetal silica. TITS. The acronym is unfortunate."

"So where do we get… TITS?" Oscar asked, trying to shake off the awkward name.

Another bang from Neo. "She says you're not old enough."

"Real funny," Oscar shot back. "You know what isn't funny? We're leaving _you_ this time. Penny and I are going to find the fuel and go home, and you'll be stuck here."

Neo's expression changed from playful to cross, and Oscar wished he could have taken the threat back.

* * *

After a series of scans, Jaune Solo was able to determine which world Penny, Oscar and Neo hailed from. He called this their _prime world_ , and said he would have his team begin looking for a way to return them home. The process was going to take time, and so Penny and Oscar were given food and a small room to wait in, while Neo was kept in custody.

They were both surprised to learn that they were in outer space, aboard a ship Jaune called the Century Eagle. His crew were rebels, fighting against a sinister empire that could destroy entire planets on a whim. The technology of this world was astounding, and Penny couldn't help but fawn over.

Oscar, meanwhile, seemed lost in his own world. He undoubtedly was anxious to return home, but he had been through so much that Penny wondered if he'd be able to adjust properly upon their return.

A loud hiss startled both of them; the door to their room opened and Jaune Solo stood, leaning on the threshold, with a sour look upon his face.

"Is it time?" Oscar jumped up, excitedly.

"Not so fast, kid," Jaune threw up a halting hand. "We've got a problem."

The cheer in Oscar's face quickly faded and his head tilted downwards in defeat. Penny stood and placed a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

"What is it?" she asked Jaune.

He sighed. "You guys shot through so many worlds that the whole multiverse is wobbling around like gelatin. We located the sequence to your prime world, but in a few hours that could change. Threading a needle isn't tough, but imagine doing it in a starfighter during a dogfight."

Penny wasn't sure of the analogy, but she imagined if Jaune thought the process was difficult, then it clearly was.

"And then there's the TITS. I didn't explain how rare the resource is, and in order to send three people through flux that's changing by the hour, we'll need a lot more than I thought."

"Three people?" Oscar asked, "But I thought you were keeping Neo here. She's a criminal, right?"

"That she is," Jaune nodded, "However if you three want to get home, we'll need her help." He beckoned them both to follow and they did as instructed. Jaune continued to talk as they walked the coolly lit metal hallways. "We've isolated three large TITS that should be enough for this warp. Each one of you will be sent to a different location, a different world, to retrieve part of the haul."

"We're splitting up again…" Oscar groaned.

"Not much I can do about that, pal. Each one of you will have a short amount of time to find the TITS, grab 'em, and get back here before the sequence shifts again."

"Mr. Solo," Penny spoke up, "Couldn't your people simply relocate our world like you did the first time?"

"We sure could," Jaune replied. "But we got extremely lucky in finding it so quickly. Once it shifts, it could be hours, days, maybe weeks or longer, before we find it again. And the longer you stay here, the worse the shifting gets."

They emerged through another hissing door to the room where they had initially appeared. Rubacca stood with the still bound Neo, and let out a whine of sorts as they approached.

"You can let her go Ruby," Jaune said. The beast nodded and undid the shackles holding Neo's wrists and ankles. "I've already told her the plan, so now I just need everyone to take these." Jaune brandished three small wristbands. "These function like that remote of yours, except it's a single use, single world transport. We've already programmed them to the world and rough location of the TITS, all you need to do is warp in, get our fuel and come back."

Neo flipped her hair and walked back to the crate she had been sitting on prior, taking a more graceful seat with her unbound limbs.

"What's her deal?" Jaune asked."

Schnee-3PO translated. "She does not want to help."

"Oh come on!" Oscar shouted at Neo. "You're the reason we're even _in_ this mess!"

Neo responded with a casual raising of her middle finger.

"I don't believe I should translate that," Schnee-3PO said.

"So what now?" Oscar turned back to Jaune. "You won't let her stay right? So what happens to her if she won't help?"

Jaune folded his arms with a hard stare at Neo, still taunting the group. "If the lady refuses, then we toss her back into the multiverse. No idea where she'll go, but it won't be my problem anymore."

Penny could not believe Neo's stubbornness, and approached her gently. "Miss Neo, what about our promise? What about Roman?"

Neo's eyes lit up and Penny felt a stern kick to her abdomen, sending her reeling backwards. All of the activity in the room stopped and several weapons were drawn.

"She says that he is gone, and nothing will bring him back."

"That's not true!" Penny retorted, standing back up and taking a few steps towards Neo. "I told you that I promised I would help you find him, and I meant it. Even if I have to take the Winter Maiden's powers myself, I _will_ bring him back to you."

Tears began to well up in Neo's eyes once more at the mention of Roman's name. She sunk to the ground and hid away in her bowler hat.

"The Maiden's power may not be enough," Oscar said. "But maybe this would be." He unlatched the Relic of Knowledge from his belt and held it up. Neo raised her head, eyes glistening and fixed on the lamp.

Oscar stepped forward and knelt down in front of Neo. "I just want to get home, Neo. Help us, and this is all yours."


	8. Penny From the Block

As the light faded around Penny, she saw that she had arrived in her destination world. The wristband device had worked flawlessly, now she just needed to find the fuel Jaune Solo had mentioned.

She felt dizzy as she looked around; buildings lined the concrete street reaching far into the sky. They looked like nothing she had seen on Remnant. Down on the street level people walked to and fro along cracked sidewalks while vehicles filed along the street orderly.

"Yo, you lost or somethin'?" A voice startled her. She whipped around to see a group of intimidating looking men walking towards her. They all seemed to be wearing a purple colored garment, whether a bandana, hat or shirt.

"Salutations!" Penny greeted cheerily, "As a matter of fact, I _am_ lost. Would you happen to know where I could find TITS?"

The group all looked at each other for a moment, before bursting into laughter.

"This bitch lookin for a titty bar?" One cackled.

"Nah, nah," another wheezed, "she tryin' to get some _bigger_ titties. Bitch flat as a mo'fucka."

Penny looked down at her chest, suddenly feeling inadequate. "I suppose I could ask father for an upgrade…"

One of the men drew a pistol and pointed it directly at her. "Naw, you ain't goin nowhere, bitch."

Penny took a step back defensively. "My name is _Penny_! I do not wish to fight you."

The other men followed their leader, pulling out weapons and directing them towards Penny. She responded, unleashing _Floating Array_ in attack position.

Suddenly, the sound of screeching tires could be heard down the street as a low slung green vehicle pulled up. It was filled with similarly looking men, dressed in green instead of purple. They also had their weapons drawn.

In an instance the street erupted in gunfire as the green men fired on the purple men, who returned in kind. Penny tried not to intervene, but another green vehicle came roaring into the scene, this time driven by a suspiciously familiar looking set of girls. Ruby, Weiss, Yang and Blake, all dressed in the same shade of green, began to beckon to her.

"Get in P-snax!" Yang called.

Penny did not understand what was happening, but she decided to take a chance on going with them. Collapsing her _Floating Array_ , she hopped into the middle back seat between Blake and Weiss. Yang, the driver, wasted no time in speeding away from the scene.

* * *

They called themselves the Orchard Avenue Tribe. In a nondescript house at the end of a cul de sac they had made their headquarters. A _street gang_ , one had inferred. Ruby Ross was the leader, with her associates Weiss Cube, Blake Thought, and Wu-Yang. Another, 'P-snax" Polendina, existed in this world, but had gone missing, and the girls had thought Penny was her.

"So P-snax is still MIA, huh," Ruby sighed. "Damn Playas probably got her." The Playas were the Orchard Avenue Tribe's rival gang, the ones in purple. Their leader, the mysterious CB Fall was said to be ruthless in her efforts to take over the city.

"I am sorry that I am not who you thought I was," Penny bowed in apology.

"So what _were_ you doing in Playa territory?" Blake asked.

Penny wasn't sure how much information she could give about her true mission, but the girls did not seem to react to her being a copy of their friend. "I'm from another world," she began, "and I've come here to find TITS."

"Can't help you there," Weiss said, defeated.

"I CAN!" Wu-Yang stood up, squeezing her breasts together. "Got some all natural goodness right here."

"Everyone get your boobs out for Penny!" Ruby rallied.

Penny sighed. "This unfortunate acronym is no longer comical." She explained what Jaune Solo had told her about the fuel source: a precious mineral crystal that glowed with a bright blue shine.

"Oh, that's what you meant?" Wu-Yang blushed. "Never heard of the fancy name, we just call it meth."

"Very well then," Penny nodded, "Where can I obtain some meth?"

"You can't," Blake said flatly. "The Playas control all distribution in the city. Rumor has it they've got a warehouse full of the stuff down at the port, but you would even get close."

"I have to try!" Penny replied. "My friends are counting on me!"

"I wish we could help," Ruby added, "But we've already lost too many people to the Playas due to _someone's_ mistake."

Wu-Yang continued to blush even harder." Hey, I fucked up, it happens to everyone."

Weiss Cube stood and pointed at her, "All you had to do was follow the damn train Wu-Yang!"

"Enough!" Blake intervened. "Instead of sitting here fighting with each other, why not at least help this Penny get to the docks? If we cause a distraction, it'll draw the Playas away so she can infiltrate and find the good shit."

Penny beamed. "I would appreciate any help!"

"Fine!" Ruby pounded her fists together. "Everyone get your gear. It's time to fuck some bitches up."

* * *

The sun had fallen and the moon, whole in this world, bathed the city docks in a cold glow. The girls had assembled a small army of about 50 gang members, all dressed in their trademark green and each carrying a variety of intimidating looking weapons. The plan was to draw as many of the Playas out with a large scale conflict, while Penny would sneak in through the air.

Penny stood ready on a nearby rooftop, scanning the port in its entirety. There were hundreds of large steel cargo containers, and several buildings where workers were still loading and unloading shipments. Even with her enhanced visual sensors, she could not make out anything suspicious.

Except for one thing.

In the further building from the port entrance, Penny could make out a faint distress frequency. Whatever it was, she would check that building first.

Gunshots rang out from the streets below; the fighting had begun. She watched as the Playas began to drop whatever they were doing and run out to join the fight. Now was her chance!

Activating her thrusters, Penny took flight, keeping a high arc over the docks to avoid being spotted. The building at the end of the port had several high windows, and Penny deactivated her thrusters to crash through feet first. Landing on the ground, she immediately deployed _Floating Array_.

"Hey!" Someone yelled. "It's the Tribe, get her!" A hail of gunfire erupted from all corners of the warehouse, but Penny was prepared. First, she knocked out the warehouse lights, plunging the building into darkness. Then, she spun _Floating Array_ 's blades around her in a graceful dance, deflecting each bullet with exact precision. As each man stopped to reload his weapon, a blade would meet his throat. Within a matter of seconds, the entire building fell silent.

Penny activated her night vision to see the building in more detail, but was shocked at what she found. Bound to a mechanical plinth, with an assortment of wires all around, was another Penny.

"P-snax," Penny said. "That really had captured you." She approached the unconscious girl and detached the wires from her before freeing her from the device entirely. She had a similar power-on method, and within moments the girl's eyes lit up with a brilliant green.

"Where… Who are you?" she asked.

"I am you," Penny explained. "Well, I am you, but from another world. You are the Penny of this world. You were captured by the Playas."

_Clap clap clap_.

Both Pennys whipped around as backup lights flooded the warehouse, blinding them. "Isn't this an unexpected surprise?" a cocky male voice spoke.

"Another world, huh?" a woman's voice added. "Maybe we should expand our recruitment."

As Penny's eyes adjusted to the light, she saw that they had been joined by two new individuals. The male had gray hair and wore mostly black with the usual Playa purple; this world's Mercury Black. The other was a woman with purple hair and two bladed revolvers, surely this world's Emerald Sustrai.

"We are here for some meth," Penny explained. "I do not want to hurt either of you."

"Well that sucks," Mercury chuckled, "Because I wanna hurt you." He dashed forwards with inhuman speed, attempting to kick Penny. _Floating Array_ blocked the blow, but Mercury's quick footwork landed several hits sending Penny backwards into the warehouse wall.

Emerald began blasting with her revolvers; Penny tried to block the shots, but her control of _Floating Array_ was decreased as she split her efforts between the two opponents.

"I will help!" P-snax shouted to her. Penny saw the girl focus intensely, followed by a series of high capacity assault weapons materializing behind her in a winged formation. Taking a rifle in each hand, she began unleashing her ammo on the attackers.

Mercury went on the defensive, outrunning the steady stream of bullets. Emerald took aim at P-snax, but Penny launched _Floating Array_ , disarming her.

"You bitch!" Emerald sneered before P-snax's rifles filled her with bullets. Her bloodied body fell to the concrete.

"Emerald!" Mercury screamed. Enraged, he dove at the distracted P-snax, but Penny managed to trip him up with her blades. He landed a few feet from P-snax, who took two new rifles from her stock and blew Mercury away.

"How exactly did they capture you?" Penny asked the clearly overpowered girl.

"Like this." A new voice spoke from high above as a blue wave emitted over the entire scene. P-snax seemed to lose all control of her weapons and body, falling limp to the floor.

Penny looked up and met the eyes of Cinder Fall, dressed in a purple gown, her eyes aflame with fiery energy.

"You…" Penny gathered _Floating Array_ ready to attack. "What did you do to her?"

"Electromagnetic Pulse," Cinder explained as she slowly floated down to ground level. "You seem to have survived it, though. Perhaps your world uses a different frequency range. It matters not. You won't be leaving here alive."

Penny unleashed her blades at the vile woman, but she simply swatted them away with a magical force. The Maiden powers clearly existed in this world too, and Penny theorized it was how she had managed to take over nearly the entire city with her gang.

Cinder formed several fiery spears and sent them Penny's way. She recalled _Floating Array_ and blocked them, throwing them at Cinder for another attack that was equally as futile. They continued to exchange ranged attacks until Cinder seemingly vanished.

Before Penny could locate her, Cinder crashed into her, knocking Penny to the ground. She tried to get up, but Cinder already had a magic blade to her neck.

"Looks like you're useless in _all_ worlds," Cinder grinned venomously.

"Before you kill me, I must ask you one thing," Penny said.

"Very well."

"Do you believe in destiny?"

Cinder rolled her eyes. "Why does everyone keep asking me th—"

Penny pulled with all her might on _Floating Array_ , sending several blades through Cinder's chest and face. A look of horror sat on her face as she crumpled to the ground.

* * *

The raid on the Playa's was a whopping success, and soon the docks were under Tribe control. The death of CB Fall and her top two lieutenants had crippled the gang, and Ruby Ross predicted they would be able to start reclaiming the city soon.

With a crate of TITS now in her possession, Penny was ready to make the journey back home. She hoped and prayed the others had managed to accomplish their missions with less violence than she did.


	9. Hush Up and Drive

A sparkling blue crystal, that's what Neo was looking for. She refused to use the silly acronym; she didn't even want to be a part of this charade any more. But the lamp, now hanging off her belt, was sufficient payment for her cooperation.

Could it really bring him back though?

The roar of engines and pungent vapors of gasoline flooded her senses as Neo emerged in her destination world. It was night, but one could hardly tell from the sheer number of neon signs and flashing lights taking up their view. This was unlike any place she had seen on Remnant before, but it was par for the course at this point.

Neo followed the sounds of the engines and eventually came upon a small lot filled with stylishly dressed people and even more stylish rides. Bass heavy music pumped through the air while a DJ high up on a platform worked the tables.

"I love the half and half look," some woman began speaking to her. "That cabaret chic is so fresh. Are you a driver or just here to spectate?"

Driver? Neo glanced around at the vehicles in the lot. She had enough knowledge of Remnant's machines to know these were souped up racers, and apparently there was an event beginning soon.

"Hey, I know you," A drunken man interrupted them. "You're Torchwick's girl, right?"

His _girl_?

"I thought he said he was ridin' solo tonight?" the woman asked.

Neo stepped away from the two strangers. Roman was here, a _different_ Roman, she already knew that much, but if anybody knew where to find the valuable fuel crystals, it would be him.

Peering over to the back of the lot, she saw him, orange mop and all, poring over the engine of what she assumed was his vehicle. She took a deep breath and approached him.

"Neo!" Roman turned just in time to see her coming. He closed the engine bay and leaned on his prized racer. "So I guess you changed your mind?"

Neo nodded. Apparently this world's version of her had more sense.

"Well don't just stand there," Roman beckoned. "We're getting ready to line up." He shuffled into the driver's seat and Neo followed suit, taking up the passenger slot. The engine roared to life at Roman's command and they began cruising out of the lot, people staggering out of the way as they rolled.

"No prize money tonight," Roman explained, "Instead it's a rare crystal gem. Nobody knows what it does, but it could be worth millions to the right person."

How convenient; this had to be the fuel she was looking for.

* * *

Twelve vehicles in total were lined up for the evening's main event. Each driver drew straws for their qualifying position. Roman's awful luck landed them in the back row.

Neo recognized some of the other contestants as doppelgangers from her own world. A rowdy looking Yang Xiao Long was straddling a sleek yellow bike, while a poorly disguised Weiss Schnee had apparently borrowed her daddy's luxury machine for an evening out.

"Bunch'a chumps," Roman muttered. "Stick us in last all you want, we'll be on the podium in no time flat."

Neo wasn't so sure. She gestured at the field of powerful looking vehicles in front of them.

" _Yes_ , I _know_ ," Roman replied through gritted teeth. "Just sit there and be cute, I'l handle the driving."

That was the wrong answer.

Neo opened her door and stepped out of the car, much to Roman's dismay.

"One your marks," the announcer's voice rang out over the starting grid. "Get set…"

"Neo what are you doing!?" Roman screamed. "Get your ass back in the car!"

"GO!" With that cue the fleet of racers took off in a cloud of dust.

Neo casually walked over to the driver's side where Roman's face was beginning to turn red with anger. She opened his door and delivered a quick blow to his temple, knocking him out.

Much better.

Removing him from the driver's seat, Neo strapped in and hit the accelerator, speeding off towards the other drivers.

* * *

The race course was displayed on the vehicle's dashboard navigation system, allowing Neo to effortlessly navigate this foreign city with ease. Her driving proficiency was a boon as well, as the back racers were easily caught and passed.

Two turns later and she had moved up to 6th place, just behind Weiss. Neo put the pressure on the girl, riding her bumper as close as she could without making contact. Weiss' nerves were not strong enough to handle it, and she turned early into the following corner, allowing for an easy pass.

5th place didn't last for long, as Neo passed two more racers, putting her in 3rd. Just ahead of her she could see Yang on her bike in a close battle with a low slung black roadster. With her superior agility, Yang was clearly outclassing every other challenger in the field.

Neo glanced at the race route and didn't like what she saw. The race was headed into the final sprint: a lengthy section of highway. Neo had the speed to overtake her, but Yang's agility would allow her to weave through traffic a larger vehicle couldn't.

As the field approached the on-ramp to the highway, Neo made the final pass, placing her right behind Yang. The crafty blonde was pulling away, but Neo shifted into top gear and began to gain on her.

As the two were neck and neck, they hit a small section of pedestrian traffic; just what Neo had feared. Yang began to swiftly make her way through, but Neo had a more daring idea. Steering hard to the left, she crashed through the highway barrier and into the much more open oncoming lanes.

The honking of horns screeched by her as Neo kept the accelerator glued to the floor, her engine screaming all the way. Yang was falling behind.

With another daring lane change, Neo made her way back to the proper side of the highway, now in front of Yang. The finish line was in sight, but Neo could see Yang was up to something.

Using her gauntlets, Yang was propelling her bike forward much faster than normal. Her bike reared up on it's back wheel; she wasn't going to risk a pass, she was going _over._

Neo took out _Hush_ and jammed it between the accelerator pedal and center console, allowing her to slip out the driver's side window. She flipped up onto the roof of the vehicle just in time to meet Yang with a swift roundhouse kick, sending the cocky blonde and her bike back to the road.

Sliding back into the driver's seat, Neo cruised to the finish line.

* * *

The grand prize was, indeed, the shining blue crystals Neo had expected. She accepted her price unceremoniously and made a quick escape before Yang or Roman could complicate things. Her adrenaline still high, she activated her warp bracelet and embraced the engulfing light.


	10. Oscar and the Hunt for Overused Jokes

He did what he had to do, and even the nagging voice in his mind could convince him otherwise. All that mattered was getting home and saving their world from destruction; the relic was a small price to pay.

Ozpin had fallen silent, or Oscar had succeeded in blocking him out. Either way, the only sounds he could hear was the chirping of birds amongst the trees. He had appeared in the middle of a forest with a small dirt path cutting through. Following the path led him to a clearing.

"Woah…" Oscar was in awe. Off in the distance stood a massive stone castle, surrounded by at least thirty red roofed houses all contained within a great wall. The road from the forest led straight up to it, and Oscar decided that the castle must be the location of the fuel source.

As he approached, he found himself staring at a massive wooden gate guarded by two soldiers in old fashioned plate armor.

"Halt!" one soldier commanded. "The city is closed to all outsiders."

"Did something happen here?" Oscar inquired, trying to gather information.

The guard looked at his partner, before returning his attention to Oscar. "Surely you've heard of the bandits running rampant in this kingdom?"

"I'm not actually from here," Oscar feigned.

"You'd be wise to return to your homeland," the other guard suggested.

_I'm trying…_

"The Xiao Long bandits have plagued this kingdom for months," the first guard explained. "They started attacking caravans and travelers, then began to sack small villages. The city of Schneeburg is the last safe haven, but several bandit spies have been caught within our walls."

The other guard continued, "Under the orders of King Jacques Schnee, first of his name, all travelers in or out of the city are forbidden unless expressly permitted by the royal house. I'm sorry, son, but your journey ends here."

Oscar had to think quickly. If Jacques was the king of this city, surely Weiss was a princess. He just had to think of how he could get to _her_.

Trying his best to look official, Oscar took out _The Long Memory_ and extended it to rest upon the ground. "I suppose it's a good thing that I am, _in fact_ , a guest of House Schnee."

"Come again?" the guards didn't seem to believe him.

"Ah yes," Oscar continued, "I'm Princess Weiss' instructor."

"Aren't you a little young?"

 _Crap, they're not buying it_.

"Wait," the other guard interrupted. "That's the legendary cane of the sorcerer Ozma!"

"Ah," Oscar flourished the cane. "So you _have_ heard of me. I trust I'll be admitted into the city for my duties?"

"There's just one issue," the guard said. "But you should speak to the King immediately. He will likely be in need of your assistance, Great One."

_Great, as if this couldn't be any more complicated._

* * *

Kidnapped. Princess Weiss Schnee had been taken from her bedroom in the dark of night, and King Jacques had suspected the Xiao Long tribe.

"Vagrants, every last one of them!" he explained as Oscar stood at the foot of his throne, listening intently.

"Have they made any demands, Your Highness?" Oscar asked.

"Of course they have," Jacques replied, "but I don't negotiate with bandits. They will get nothing from me."

"Aren't you worried at all about your daughter?"

"Lord Ozma," the King continued, "I have three children. While I am undoubtedly saddened by the loss of my dear Weiss, I simply cannot concede the Kingdom's treasured gemstones. Weiss will be missed, but the Kingdom will move on."

Oscar couldn't believe what he was hearing. "She's your _daughter_!" He persisted. "What gems could possibly be worth more than her life?"

Jacques rose from his throne, a stern gaze on his face. "Come with me," he said flatly.

The King led Oscar down a side chamber through a series of small corridors deep within the castle until they reached a large ornate door guarded by two men in more decorative armor than the city guards. The immediately stepped aside as King Jacques entered the room and beckoned Oscar to follow.

Inside lay heaps of shiny blue crystals, shimmering and sparkling with every flicker of the torch lights. They looked just like Jaune Solo had described them, the TITS fuel source Oscar had been sent for.

"These gems have been a family keepsake of mine for generations," the King explained. "The ancient priests told my ancestors that it held a mystical power, and that it should never fall into the hands of darkness. Those damned bandits are after my treasure and I will never allow them to have it, even if I must lose _all_ of my children."

Even in this world Jacques took things to the extreme. Oscar thought he might be able to quickly grab a handful of TITS and warp back, but it would likely not be enough. And convincing Jacques to lend him some of his precious gemstones would be a fruitless endeavor.

"Where are these bandits located?" Oscar asked. "I may be able to retrieve the Princess myself. That way you do not have to bargain."

"Good luck with that," Jacques cackled. "The Xiao Long bandits number in the thousands. I've heard tales of your magic, Lord Ozma, but I fear even you would be no match for them."

"I'm still going to try," Oscar stood firm. "Do you know where I can find them?"

Jacques sighed out of frustration. "My scouts inform me they've set up a base in the next town over. It used to be known as Vale, but those damn bandits turned it inside out."

"Good," Oscar turned to make his exit from the treasure room. "I'll start there."

"They'll eat you alive," Jacques grumbled.

* * *

Past the city of Schneeburg, down the dirt road through the nearby forest, Oscar eventually came upon a small village nestled within the trees. Just like the city, guards stood watch over the town entrance, and while they wore more primitive armor, they were no less fearsome.

As Oscar neared the entrance both guards readied their arms. "Who goes there?"

"I am Ozma," Oscar fibbed, "I've come to speak with your leader."

"Ozma the wizard?" A confused look came over the guards. "I thought Ozma died years ago!"

Oscar whipped out _The Long Memory_ , just as he had with Jacques. "I'm not very good at staying dead, you know."

The guards' eyes widened and they bolted off into the town, howling all the way.

_(Curious, nobody in Schneeburg mentioned the great Lord Ozma being deceased.)_

_Oh, now you decide to show up?_

_(I thought you may need actual magic, my Lord.)_

Oscar didn't care for Ozpin's condescending tone, but it was nice to have some company again. He twirled his cane as he began making his way inside the bandit camp.

The town seemed empty, but Oscar could feel eyes upon him as he strolled through. "I can assure you I mean no harm!" he called out. "I seek the counsel of your leader."

"Your kind is not welcome here!" a woman's voice called out. From the threshold of the one of the larger buildings stepped a woman with black and red hair, an intimidating scythe at the ready.

"Ah," Oscar sighed, "It's good to see you Ruby. I am in nee—"

"Enough!" the woman slammed her scythe into the ground with a heavy thud. "Do not speak my daughter's name, mage."

_Daughter?_

_(Oh dear, this is certainly a surprise.)_

"I am Summer Xiao Long, and you will pay for tearing my family apart!"

* * *

Nothing made sense anymore. Jacques Schnee was sitting on a hoard of crystals he knew nothing about, Weiss was kidnapped, and now Ruby's mother was alive.

Oscar ducked just in time as Summer's scythe passed over his head; he retaliated with his cane, knocking away the weapon and gaining some distance.

"I don't want to fight you!" Oscar pleaded. "I need your help!"

Summer recovered her scythe and prepared another swing. "Curse you Ozma! You took my daughters from me! I would never help you!"

_(Am I the villain in this world as well?)_

_A little less introspection, a little more help!_

Oscar's eyes flashed bright yellow as Ozpin took over, backflipping away from Summer's strike. He flourished _The Long Memory_ in preparation for more attacks.

"What have you done with the Schnee girl?" Ozpin asked.

"Her blood is but a small payment," Summer replied, whirling her scythe through the air wildly.

Ozpin dodged effortlessly, battering away her blows with his cane. "Why must the Schnees pay the price for a crime I supposedly committed?"

"Don't play dumb with me, mage!" Summer shouted. "We bandits fought for our rights, but that tyrant you call a king tried to drive us out! He will fall soon enough, but I will deliver your head to his doorstep!"

 _(Now it makes sense,)_ Ozpin spoke internally.

 _It does?_ Oscar wasn't following.

_(King Jacques was not entirely honest with us, a shock I'm sure.)_

_So who's telling the truth?_

_(It's hard to tell, but my current theory is this: these bandits were citizens of this land, driven away by Jacques when he became King. Threatened by their uprising, he hired Lord Ozma to eradicate them, and it seems as though Miss Rose was a casualty, maybe even Miss Xiao Long. As retaliation, the bandits kidnapped and murdered Princess Weiss.)_

_But why did the bandits think Ozma was dead when Jacques didn't?_

Ozpin met Summer's scythe mid-swing and the two locked their weapons. "Summer, if I may ask a question."

"You talk too much!" Summer grunted, struggling to force her blade down.

"Why did your men think I was dead? I just recently visited the 'tyrant King' and he did not seem to think I was a ghost."

"We know how Jacques treats his men, even those as loyal as you. Our spies within the Kingdom confirmed you were assassinated by his hand."

Ozpin broke the stalemate, ducking under Summer's swing and smacking her square in the face with his cane. She stumbled backwards and hit the dirt.

"It seems we have been played for fools," Ozpin theorized. "I agreed to return his daughter to him, but I can assure you my motives are not in line with those of the King."

 _(I need a moment to regain my strength,)_ Ozpin faded and Oscar was back in control of his body.

"Speak plainly," Summer demanded as she stood and readied her scythe once more.

"We have a common enemy," Oscar said calmly, "As it happens I need the treasure Jacques hordes in his castle. Let us join forces, storm his sanctuary and take back this land."

Oscar extended a hand towards Summer, but she turned her back on him. "My people will bring Jacques to his knees, but I will not ally myself with a child murderer."

Her words stung. Even though Oscar hadn't done the things Summer accused him of, this world's version of him certainly did. He had never considered that, in all the worlds he had traveled so far, someone like him could be so evil.

_(Do not let her words trouble you, Oscar. Focus on getting the fuel for your journey home, so that you may do good in our own world.)_

_...Right._

* * *

As the sun sank low and the skies burned a fiery orange, the Xiao Long bandits, two hundred strong, marched on the city of Schneeburg. Oscar kept his distance, unwilling to take on an entire army convinced that he murdered their leader's daughter.

With only two guards posted at the gates of the city, taking over seemed like it would be an easy task. Oscar was therefore shocked to see that the city had upgraded its defenses considerably since he had been gone. An army of soldiers stood ready outside the gates, and archers lined the castle walls, arrows nocked and ready to loose.

Summer hoisted her scythe high into the air. "For our sons! For our daughters! For our _land_!" Rousing cheers met her from all around, and the bandits began their charge.

Like a human wall the bandits crashed into the soldiers, swords and spears flailing. The clangs of steel on steel echoed through the air as the cries of men and women rumbled the earth. The archers lit their arrows and were sending volleys into the fray, unconcerned with friendly fire.

_(Let's show them the real power of the great Lord Ozma.)_

_You're the magic one, not me._

_(We're one in the same, Oscar. Think of the world we need to get back to. Think of Miss Rose. Focus that energy into the cane and unleash it.)_

Oscar focused deeply, drowning out the sounds of combat. The last time he saw her.

* * *

"I think you're needed elsewhere." He wanted to say so much more, but Marrow was waiting for her.

"You're sure?" she had asked. It was risky, telling Ironwood about Ozpin's secrets. About Salem's immortality. James was so sure of his plan, and Oscar was about to throw the biggest wrench he could find into it.

"Yeah, I've got it." He couldn't ask that of her. Ozpin was him now, and he was Ozpin. It was only right that he confronted James himself.

As he tried to leave, he couldn't help but steal one last glance. She was also looking at him.

"Good luck in there."

"Good luck down there."

* * *

Oscar felt a rush of warmth overcome him. It started in his chest and rapidly spread outwards; all of his nerves began to scream with energy. As he opened his eyes, he saw that he was glowing; energy was flowing from his body into _The Long Memory_.

With a decisive wave, Oscar pointed the cane towards the castle wall where archers rained down their fiery death. Golden green energy exploded from his weapon, crashing into the wall and decimating the enemy forces. As the smoke and dust settled, a large gap had formed in the wall.

The bandits began to pour into the city, and Oscar was not far behind them.

As Summer's forces took to the streets in search of soldiers to slay, Oscar made his way to the castle and snuck inside. No one was in sight, so he acted quickly to make his way to the secret treasure room Jacques had shown him. To his surprise, the room was completely open and unguarded.

_This is too perfect._

_(A wise observation, do not let your guard down.)_

As he entered the room of glistening blue crystals, the door slammed shut. King Jacques was waiting for him.

"Do you take me for a fool, boy?" he asked, a sinister growl in his voice.

Oscar readied _The Long Memory_ for another attack. "Your city needs you, are you going to let them die too?"

"Do not change the subject," Jacques sneered. "I know you're not from this world, boy. Even if I hadn't murdered Ozma, you stand out like a sore thumb."

_He knew?_

_(It seems we were careless to trust him.)_

"I had hoped your stupidity would have gotten you killed by Summer's hands, but I suppose I was naive to think she would do my dirty work for me."

"So you knew she would try to kill me." Oscar said.

"I _did_ try to warn you," Jacques replied. "But I knew you just couldn't resist."

"All I want is to take some of these crystals," Oscar explained. "I'll return to my world and you can do what you wish here."

"I know exactly what you want." Jacques took a large crystal and held it in his hands. "TITS are the key to the universe and reality itself. You think I was stockpiling them for fun? I have traveled more worlds than you can possibly imagine. Let that bitch Summer kill these worthless cretins, I'll find another world to rule."

"You're…" Oscar finally saw the truth. "You're not from here either?"

"Oh outstanding," Jacques clapped sarcastically, "You've passed the test. Now take your prize!" From his hip Jacques drew a high tech looking pistol and shot a blue laser blast towards Oscar. Slamming _The Lost Memory_ on the ground created a shield around him, and the blast pinged off harmlessly.

Jacques tried to rush Oscar, but the farmboy was quick on his toes, slinking out of the way and sending a blast of magic into Jacques. To his surprise, the despot actually managed to take hold of the magic and collect it in his hand.

"Such primitive spells for a grand mage," he laughed, before throwing the energy back at Oscar. He managed to dive out of the way, but the resulting explosion sent him flying into a nearby wall.

Pain racked Oscar's body as he got to his feet. _Come on, Oscar. You can do this. You have to do this. Ruby is counting on you._

Once again his body erupted in warmth, a feeling of love overtaking his entire being. Jacques' demeanour lost all confidence and he quickly began to panic.

The King pulled out a remote, eerily similar to the one that had started this entire mess. He was trying to escape to another world. Oscar could have just let him go at this point, but the man had caused too much death in one reality to be left alone.

Oscar dove at Jacques, taking hold of his arm as the light of transfer began to wrap around his body.

'You fool!" Jacques shrieked, "You'll collapse the sequence! It will kill you!"

"And you as well!" Oscar shouted back, pulling as hard as he could against the force of the warp. He strained with all his might, his feet beginning to slip and slide along the floor. Just as he felt he could hold on no longer, he felt the pull from the other side give way completely. The abrupt change in force sent him stumbling backwards.

As the light faded once more, Jacques body, or at least part of it, fell to the floor in a grotesque pile.

_The rest of him must have ended up in another world._

_(Good riddance. Now take what we came for and be off, quickly.)_

* * *

The feeling of traveling had nearly normalized at this point, although Oscar wished each time it would have been his last.

_Soon. We're almost home._

"I see you found the fuel," Jaune Solo greeted him as he acclimated back to the ship's environment.

At nearly the same time, two more flashes of light erupted; Penny and Neo had returned as well, each carrying a fair amount of blue crystals.

"It looks like we were all successful!" Penny grinned. "Now we will get to—"

Everything shook as a loud explosion rocked the ship. The entire crew fell to the floor and a high pitched alarm pierced the air.

"3PO!" Jaune called out. "What the hell just hit us?"

The golden android responded with a dreadful tone. "It's the Empire, sir. They've found us!"


	11. All of a Sudden, Lasers!

Through the large viewport at the front of the ship's bridge, Penny saw it. A gigantic behemoth of a vessel bearing down upon the Century Eagle, red hot laser blasts streaming out of its cannons at regular intervals. Each shot hit with precision, causing their ship to shake and rumble.

"Quick!" Oscar yelled, "Send us back! Hurry!"

"Are you out of your mind?" Jaune Solo hollered back. "I need every man, woman, and robot ready to fight these Empire dogs. I'm sorry kid but this comes first."

"But what if the multiverse shifts?" Oscar protested. "What if you lose the coordinates?"

"Then we find 'em again," Jaune replied, pulling out a sleek black pistol and inspecting it. "Right now my priority is keeping this ship out of Empire hands and my crew alive. You wanna go home? Help me deal with this crap."

Neo threw her arms up into the air in frustration. Oscar collapsed to his knees in defeat. They were so close.

Another rumble of the ship, followed by the viewports being covered in a sickly blue glow. "They've got us locked!" Schnee-3PO cried. "We're being towed in."

"Good." Penny stood firm. "Oscar! Miss Neo! We must work together to help Jaune Solo and his crew. They have done so much for us, it is only right that we help them in turn."

"What can we do against an _empire_?" Oscar replied.

"I don't need you to topple the Empire today, kid," Jaune added. "I put out a distress call to the Rebellion. If we can just hold out, we'll have plenty of backup."

"GLAAAAARG!" Rubacca cheered, hoisting a large crossbow-type weapon.

"Ruby's right," Jaune continued. "Once they pull us into their hangar they'll try to board us for capture. They'll be looking for me and my crew, but they don't know who you are. We'll handle the welcome party, you three infiltrate their ship and get to the central control room."

"What then?" Penny asked.

"You leave that part to me." Jaune smirked.

* * *

The inside of the Empire's massive ship was a pristine white contrasted by intimidating looking black fighter ship positioned all around. The Century Eagle had been drug right through space and into the hangar where a boarding party was waiting. As soon as the landing hatch was opened, blaster fire erupted.

As the chaos aboard the hangar deck unfolded, Neo and the others slipped out a secret exit behind the ship and carefully snuck away from the fighting. The real issue now was finding what Jaune had called the control center on a ship the size of a city. Jaune had given the group communicator devices to relay back to him, but he was most likely too busy getting shot at to provide much help.

"This place is enormous," Oscar echoed Neo's thoughts. "I don't even know where to begin."

Neo put her hands together and pulled them apart again, pointing in different directions.

"Oh of course _you_ want to split up," Oscar shot back. "Going to try and leave us here again?"

Neo was slightly hurt, but then again if she had her own way out of this world, she most likely would have taken the chance.

"None of us can leave without Jaune's help," Penny added. At least the robot girl stood up for her. "If we split up, we can cover more ground. If anyone finds the control center, please let us know."

Neo wasn't exactly sure how she would use a communicator to alert the others, but she nodded in agreement and headed off.

* * *

Oscar took the nearest path and followed it gingerly, stopping every few feet to scan for Empire soldiers. He didn't even know what they looked like, but he was positive his outfit would stand out to them.

He traveled along a series of corridors, each the same glaring white metal as the last, before coming to a door that was different from the others. A foreboding red light pulsed atop it and the display nearby read "PRISON BLOCK 2A."

_Not the kind of place I'd like to be._

The sound of footsteps startled Oscar; someone was nearby! Panicked, he slammed his hand on the door's control panel and it whirred open. He managed to get inside before two black armored soldiers carrying large rifles appeared on patrol.

"Is someone there?" a woman's voice called out from down the hall where Oscar had just entered. "I'm a bit thirsty, could I have a drink… or anything?"

Against every instinct telling him to just leave, Oscar approached the voice. The hallway was lined with individual cell doors, and inside the first one he found a woman clad in white robes lounging on an uncomfortable looking metal bench. She had burgundy hair tied up in tight buns and bespeckled skin unlike anything he had seen before.

"You look a little short to be an Empire soldier," she chuckled. "Do you have my water?"

"I'm with Jaune Solo and the rebels," Oscar replied. "I'm looking for the control center."

"Oh!" the woman perked up. "I know where that is! Let me out and I'll take you there."

 _(She could be lying,)_ Ozpin cautioned.

_At this point, I'll take the risk._

"Ok, how do I open this thing?"

"There's a panel just over there," the woman pointed. "There should be an unlock button."

Oscar glanced over and saw a series of control panels he had missed by the door. Heading over to them, he scanned the console's numerous buttons for anything that might unlock the woman's cell.

"Screw it, I have no time!" he grunted, sliding his hands over the panels, pressing every button his fingers could reach.

He heard a loud clunk as the cell doors began to unlock down the hallway. _Yes! Finally something goes my w—_

" _Block 2A what's going on up there?_ " a voice buzzed over a nearby intercom.

Oscar noticed a microphone attached to the console. He pressed the button nearby to activate it and spoke into the boom. "Nothing's wrong here. Everything's ok."

" _Are you sure? We're showing all cell doors have just been unlocked, three maintenance droids have been called and someone requested six dinner trays."_

"Uh… I'm hungry, what can I say?"

" _Sir, it's 10:30 in the morning."_

Oscar took his finger off the mic and turned back to the woman in white, now standing in the hall freely. "We should probably get going, Miss… uh…"

"Ilia Organa," the woman gave a slight bow. "Princess Ilia Organa."

* * *

Even with her advanced sensory capabilities, Penny could not locate any area of high importance within the metal walls of the Empire ship. She felt like she was just wandering aimlessly, when she nearly ran into a group of black armored soldiers patrolling the halls. She froze, unsure of what to do.

"Huh," one of the soldiers inspected her. "What's this Penny unit doing just wandering?"

"You!" the other pointed his rifle at Penny's face. "What is your unit number?"

"Erm…" Penny said the first number that came to mind. "Sixty nine!"

The soldiers exchanged glances.

"Nice." One said.

"Nice." The other followed.

Nice.

"Not sure who let you out, but you're coming with us back to the lab unti—"

A loud alarm began screeching and the white hallways were shrouded in a blood red glow. A voice began transmitting over the ship's PA system. " _Rebel reinforcements have arrived. Darth Maiden wants all fighters scrambled to intercept."_

"You heard them!" The guard nudged Penny forward. "Unit 69, head to Hanger C and squad up. Time to cripple these rebel scum for good."

Penny nodded and hastily walked off in the direction the soldier had directed. Jaune's friends had arrived, it seemed, but they were no closer to finding the control center. Now she had been enlisted to help the enemy.

She soon came upon a large bay labelled HANGER C and saw a fleet of girls identical to her running towards various fighter ships. They were circular in nature with two large beams sticking out horizontally, which connected to large panels. The entire ship looked like a letter H with a spherical center.

Penny ran to the closest empty ship and climbed in. She noticed a large hand shaped scanner and placed her palm upon it.

"Error. Penny unit not recognized. Please report to the administrator."

_Darn._

Hopping out of the cockpit, she noticed the fighter next to her was getting ready to take off. Penny jumped up to the ship and opened the hatch. "Excuse me!" she shouted at the pilot, "I believe you have my ship. I need it back please!" With her free hand she grabbed the girl and removed her from the pilot's chair, jumping in herself.

The control gimbal was a single joystick between her legs, and Penny's sensors did their work scanning and transmitting the information from the ship's panels directly to her overhead display. She took hold of the controls and eased the ship out of the hangar and into the void of space.

The fight had begun; Empire ships just like hers were swarming around other red and yellow ships she assumed to be the rebels.

Flying her ship into the fray, Penny quickly encountered a problem. The ship's lock on targeting system would not allow her to target Empire ships. Smart design, but she could disable the system with a few switches. Using her superhuman senses, Penny began blasting away at Empire ships.

She maneuvered her craft through the fray and picked off fighters one by one, trying also to avoid the rebel's shooting at her.

" _Penny Unit 42!_ " the ship's intercom blared. " _You are targeting friendly craft. Return to the hangar immediately or you will be shot down!"_

"Come and get me!" Penny challenged, rolling her ship around more laser fire. Her refusal to comply labelled her a hostile target, and soon Empire ships were targeting her as well as the rebels.

She was all alone in the middle of a two sided fight, and both sides wanted her dead.

* * *

Another Empire soldier hit the floor as Neo tackled her way through the increasingly guarded halls of the ship. She was close to something big, she could feel it.

An ominous set of black doors led to a gigantic open chamber with a single narrow walkway spanning its length. At the center of the room was a monolithic structure glowing with blue energy. This had to be the command center.

Standing in her way, however, was an all too familiar face.

"Don't be sad, it looks like your little journey ends here." The venomous voice, the sharp black hair and equally dark gown. Cinder Fall glared in her direction, and Neo readied herself for a fight.

"Adorable," Cinder grimaced, "But you're no match for my power."

Neo was tired of hearing her voice. She was tired of seeing her face. Even if this wasn't the Cinder who took Roman from her, she would kill her all the same.

Drawing _Hush_ , Neo dashed forwards, ready to strike. Using her semblance, she created an illusion of her projected attack; Cinder did not flinch. The air was sucked from Neo's lungs as Cinder's fist met her abdomen hard, sending her to the ground.

"A nice trick, but the eyes of a Maiden cannot be fooled."

Neo summoned all her strength and swung _Hush_ upwards, hoping to catch Cinder while she gloated. The vile woman was ready for even that.

A sharp hissing sound, a blade of light, and terrible pain.

Neo fell to the catwalk again, holding the stump where her hand was moments ago. Cinder towered over her, a saber of light, blood red in color, held in her grasp. She moved the weapon to Neo's head and it hummed in anticipation.

She had failed. Neo had come so far, never once stopped thinking of her true goal, but in the end she was never meant to go home. Was this the Gods' punishment for her life of crime? Perhaps her life should have ended all those years ago in the slums of Vale.

Perhaps she should never have taken his hand.

Cinder pulled the blade back, before bringing it down with all her might. Neo closed her eyes, embracing the end.

Sparks flew. The clash of energy crackled and buzzed.

"Neo! Get up!"

* * *

Cinder's eyes burned directly into his; _The Long Memory_ , coated in powerful green energy, held back her blade of light mere inches away from Neo's head.

"Neo!" Oscar called to her. "Get up!"

"She's hurt!" Ilia Organa said, pulling the wounded Neo to safety.

"How _dare_ you spoil my fun!" Cinder growled. She pushed Oscar back and retreated a few steps backwards, composing herself. "And you found the Princess too. You're just full of tricks, rebel scum."

"Your fleet is being dismantled ship by ship, Darth Maiden," Ilia snapped. "Surrender and face justice for atrocities your Empire has committed."

"Justice?" Cinder laughed. "I AM JUSTICE!" Her eyes flared up with the power of the Maiden. Oscar took a defensive stance, still holding his glowing cane upright.

Neo, still in pain, had risen back to her feet. She clearly wanted to keep fighting, but her weapon was nowhere to be seen.

"Take this," Ilia handed her a steel cylinder with a large button on the side. "You were meant to have it."

Neo pressed the button and the beam sword erupted to life, its blade a brightly colored pink. With her wound still fresh, she joined Oscar's side for another battle.

"Are you sure you can fight?" Oscar asked. Neo nodded and they both turned their attention to Cinder.

Oscar summoned more magic, leaping high into the air over Cinder and landing on the other side of her near the control panel. She glared back at him before facing forward to fend off Neo's incoming attack.

The laser swords clashed and sparked as they fought; Cinder seemed to have no issue keeping up with both Oscar and Neo's dual assault.

Cinder locked her blade with Neo's and Oscar took the advantage to sweep her legs. She whipped her head around, eyes aflame, and somehow managed to suspend Oscar's cane mid-swing. No matter how hard he tried, he could not overpower the Maiden's strength.

"When you die," Cinder cackled, "I want you to understand how incredibly foolish you were to challenge a Maiden! Yo—"

An explosion in the side of the chamber broke everyone's concentration. A banged up Empire fighter crashed through the walls, its turrets pointing in their direction.

And Penny Polendina was at the trigger.

With a single shot from the laser cannons hitting Cinder squarely in the chest, she was sent flying off of the catwalk and into the void below, screaming as she fell.

* * *

Princess Ilia Organa took control of the Empire ship, lowering its shields and activating several self destruct sequences for critical components on board. She then led Oscar, Penny and Neo back to the hangar where the Century Eagle was still standing, surrounded by the bodies of around fifty Empire troopers. Jaune Solo could not have been happier to see them.

With the day won, however, it was finally time for them to return to their own world. Jaune had his crew set up the warp, which was still thankfully locked to the correct sequence.

"I guess this is goodbye," Oscar tried to smile. As much as he was happy to go home, he felt an emptiness inside that he couldn't understand.

"We can't thank you enough for all you've done," Princess Ilia gave a polite bow.

"Yeah you brats are alright," Jaune added.

"GLAAAAAAAAAARG!" was Rubacca's contribution.

"The transporter is ready," Schnee-3PO confirmed, and instructed everyone to move onto specially designated pads that would facilitate the transfer. Each was given new wristbands as well. According to Jaune they helped speed the transfer along, and could pinpoint their home world's sequence from anywhere as long as it didn't shift again.

As the process began, the ever familiar light began to wrap around them.

"Sequence locked. Power is stable at 50,000 TITS."

"Wait…" Jaune paused. "I told you to use _fifty_ , not _fifty thousand!_ "

Alarms could be heard as the light overtook Oscar's vision. The familiar feeling of travel suddenly changed. He felt lightheaded and nauseous. His brain seemed to swell and he felt as if he was falling.

Then, there was nothing.

* * *

None of Penny's sensors were working. Something had gone awry in the warp procedure, but she couldn't determine what.

"Are we alive?" Oscar asked.

"I believe so." Penny responded.

Neo shrugged.

They stood amongst a white void, featureless and empty as far as the eye could see.

"Well where are we then?" Oscar's voice became more panicked. "Jaune said he was sending us home! Is this _home_?"

It clearly was not Remnant. Even if Ironwood had succeeded in launching Atlas into the sky, even if Salem had won and turned the world to ash, there was nothing here. Nothing except the voice of one man.

"Neo? Is it really you?"


	12. In This River

_In this river all shall fade to black_

_In this river ain't no coming back._

Neo couldn't believe her eyes. Amidst the white void in which they found themselves, someone was calling out. His ginger locks, his sharp features.

"Neo? Is it really you?"

It was him.

Cautiously she stepped forwards, fearing that with each step this dream would end. If she blinked, he would vanish. If she breathed, he would scatter to the wind.

Her eyes were locked onto him until she stood at his feet. She reached out her remaining hand, slowly pressing it to his chest. Looking up at him, even through the tears, she could see his smile.

This was her Roman.

She flung herself at him, diving into his safety and burying her head in his white coat, trying to hide her weeping.

"I…" he tried to speak, but was clearly just as shocked. "I thought I'd never see you again." He folded his arms around her, pulling her even closer.

Now the sobbing started. Two long years of pain and anguish gushed out of Neo. It took her several moments before she could compose herself, before she could look at his eyes once more.

"And you brought my hat!" Roman grinned.

Neo nodded, taking the bowler cap and placing it on Roman's head.

"You're such a doll," he grinned, but his smile quickly faded. "But, Neo… you shouldn't be here."

Why? It was where she had been trying to get to: back to him. Nothing would tell her otherwise.

"You've still got so much to do," Roman said, stroking her hair. "And I'll still be here whe—" Neo put a finger to his lips. She didn't want to hear any more.

She had made up her mind the moment she felt his embrace.

Neo turned back to Penny and Oscar who seemed to be struck with awe and confusion. First she walked over to Penny.

She took Penny's hands, this clumsy robotic girl who had made her feel something other than hate for the first time since Roman left her.

"Is he the one?" Penny asked.

Neo couldn't help but smile as she nodded. He was indeed. She embraced Penny warmly, before turning to the boy.

Oscar, the pipsqueak she had intended to rob from the beginning. Cinder didn't care if he lived or died, but he had saved her life. She removed the Relic of Knowledge from her belt and handed it back to Oscar.

"Are you sure?" he asked, confused. "I made a deal."

Neo nodded and brought him close, extending her thanks before giving a playful _boop_ on the nose.

It was settled. She was staying. She took her transport wristband and chucked it into the void. Penny and Oscar activated theirs, and light began to surround them one last time.

With a final wave goodbye, Neo turned her attention back to Roman. She took hold of his long, slender arm and held it tightly.

She would never let it go again.

* * *

As the light faded, Oscar quickly surveyed the area around him in anticipation. Piles of junk were everywhere, bathed in sickly fluorescent light.

They were home.

"We did it!" Penny cheered.

"I can't believe that worked!" Oscar was overjoyed. So much so, that he grabbed Penny and kissed her in celebration. It only took a moment for him to realize what he had done and he composed himself. "Ah… sorry."

"I'm happy too, Oscar," Penny smiled widely. "That was quite an experience."

"Never again," Oscar said.

"Ugh, there you are!" a sharp woman's voice interrupted their celebration. Winter Schnee's commanding presence took up the threshold to the room. "Penny, I thought I asked you to grab those parts for me? You've been up here for hours."

"I may have distracted her," Oscar blushed, trying to ease Winter's wrath. "I'm actually looking for James, have you seen him?"

"General Ironwood was headed to the vault. Whatever you're planning, I would suggest not bothering him during this crucial time for our city."

"Yes, ma'am," Oscar nodded before scurrying out of the room. Only a few hours had passed; there was still time to save everyone!

_Hang on everyone… Ruby… I'm back now, and together we'll save everyone._

* * *

_Pietro Polendina,_

_Those schematics you sent me were very impressive. Not many understand technology the way you do, my friend. I made some small adjustments to the silica injection parameters, for efficiency's sake. The remote should work as intended, although the functionality is limited to random sequence warping. We might be able to integrate a more precise method of travel with future revisions, but the technology has to catch up with us first. Just make sure to mark your office coordinates before testing, or you'll be stuck randomly jumping through the multiverse trying to find your way back, and there's little I can do to help you then._

_One final concern, regarding your daughter. This is highly subjective, but with a large enough power supply I do believe the remote could reach worlds beyond the physical plane. Beyond life itself. Pietro, I know you would do anything to see her again, but this is tampering beyond our understanding._

_If you still plan on trying, just please let me be there too. If something goes wrong, I can fix it._

_Yours truly_

_-T_

* * *

" **When life leaves us blind**

**Love, keeps us kind"**

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was an incredible journey. From the initial idea, to the four month slump in the middle and this crazy final rush of inspiration, it's been a blast writing these three characters. I'm sorry it took so long to get it finished, but I'm glad it's finally out there for everyone to enjoy. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments or a DM, I really love reading everything you guys have to say. 
> 
> My next story is already in the works, but it's going to be a much bigger work than I've attempted before, so it requires quite a lot of planning. I can't wait to reveal it to you guys. Thanks again everyone! 
> 
> <3 Star


	13. Extras

**Intro**

It’s hard to say goodbye to a world, for both the reader and the author. There’s a certain emptiness that persists after you finish a story. Even if you enjoyed reading it, even if the conception and writing was exciting, the truth is that it’s come to an end. 

As I was lying awake last night, deciding what to do going forward, I had an idea. There’s a good amount of content for  _ Penny & Oscar’s Excellent Adventure _ that will most likely never see the public eye. References and jokes that might have gone unnoticed. And so I am writing this as a little compendium of extra bonus information about the story, its production and writing. 

I will break this down into sections based on pre-writing, then a chapter by chapter basis. Let’s dive in!

**Pre Production**

As I wrapped up my previous work,  _ To Infini-schnee & Beyond _ , I knew I wanted to continue writing crack fiction. The idea of Penny Polendina and Oscar Pine, two characters who had very little interaction in the show, going on a journey through various RWBY Alternate Universes sounded like the golden ticket. 

The idea of Neopolitan joining them only came to be after I read some comments on the r/RWBY subreddit about how Neo is often portrayed in fanfiction, and the tricks authors use to get around her being mute. I wanted to challenge myself to write an accurate, mute Neo. Rather than trying to make a separate fic just for this, I decided that Neo could come along and provide a foil for the heroes.

While brainstorming possible worlds to send the trio to, I came up with plenty of worlds that did not make the final cut for one reason or another.

  * A RWBY Musical. I’m not sure how I would have pulled this off other than rhyming or dialogue stanzas, but it just seemed like a lot of work for a joke that would get old fast.
  * Classic Mafia Film. Prohibition style gangsters with tommy guns. Also everything would have been in black and white.
  * Modern Gangsters. This idea got narrowed down into Chapter 8 for a more condensed feel.
  * Meme World. Memes are so hard to incorporate because they date a story immediately. Also, what constitutes a meme can be different for everyone. I would probably have put too many obscure memes for it to be funny to most people.
  * Furry World. Basically everyone was a Faunus. Not much to go with for this world.
  * Animal World. I think this was a further extension of the Furry World but everyone turns into actual animals. 
  * Christian Minecraft Server. I have absolutely no idea what this would have even been, but I wrote it down.



**Chapter 1**

I hadn’t decided how I wanted to deal with Ozpin’s dialogue yet, so I just formatted it like internal monologue. 

Despite giving the remote all sorts of buttons, I never considered what they would even do. 

**Chapter 2**

This world was called RWBY Novela. I styled it after a spanish telenovela, which is like a spanish language soap opera. 

While I do speak a little spanish, I used Google Translate for the dialogue. Even if it was inaccurate, I felt like that just added to the crack nature of it.

The translated lines are as follows:

  * At the end of Chapter 1, Ruby says “Give up while you still can!”
  * Roman says “This is the end for you, little red. Kill her, while I escape.”
  * Ruby responds with “Roman, bastard, this is child’s play.”
  * Ruby later says “You don’t know when to give up!”
  * When Neo meets Roman, he says “Neopolitan? What are you doing here Neo? I thought you were stealing that load in Atlas, why are you here?”
  * Ruby catches them, saying “I’ve got you now, Roman! And your ice cream friend!”
  * When Glynda appears, Ruby calls her a “cazadora” which can mean “huntress”, but can also mean “slayer”, or “jacket.”
  * When Ruby sees Penny, she says “It’s a demon!”
  * Roman adds “It’s been a while since I had three girls at once.”
  * Penny tries to talk to Ruby, who says “Don’t talk to me, demon girl!”
  * Roman tells Neo “Get in Neo, we’re leaving.”



**Chapter 3**

This world was called RWBY MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe). The idea was to literally copy the final battle of  _ Avengers: Endgame _ with RWBY characters.

This idea was actually suggested by Reddit user u/PowerPad. 

The identities of the Vindicators are:

  * Ruby Rose as Iron Man
  * Jaune Arc as Captain America
  * Salem as Thanos
  * Yang Xiao Long as Iron Fist (although in my notes I have her credited as Black Widow)
  * Blake Belladonna as Black Panther
  * Nora Valkyrie as Thor
  * Weiss Schnee as Hawkeye
  * Marrow Amin as Star Lord
  * May Marigold as Gamora
  * Oscar Pine as Spiderman (not shown, but hinted at)
  * Penny Polendina as Scarlet Witch



While they were not featured in the chapter, I have noted down that Vine Zeki is Groot, Harriet Bree is Quicksilver, and Elm Ederne is The Incredible Hulk.

Ruby references the nanotech suit scene from  _ Avengers: Infinity War _ .

Penny and Neo’s scene is a reference to Scarlet Witch and Thanos’ one on one scene in  _ Avengers: Endgame _ .

**Chapter 4**

This world was called RWBY Anime, which doesn’t make sense with the final product. A more fitting name would be RWBY BDSM. The cast are meant to by hyper-sexualized versions of themselves.

This chapter caused a little bit of controversy for the scene where Oscar is bound to the chair while Ruby and Weiss have their way with him. I actually had some people accuse me of being a pedophile for writing it. The bottom line, this is a crack story, played for laughs and even then it’s pretty tame compared to some of the stuff I’ve seen others write. 

The scene between Neo and Penny is one of my favorites, and is often overshadowed by Oscar’s scenes in this chapter. I really wanted to humanize Neo while showing her softening up, just slightly.

Yang tells Jaune to “slay this dragon,” a reference to their ship name,  _ Dragonslayer. _

**Chapter 5**

This world is listed as RWBY TV Show. The idea began and ended with the recreation of Pyrrha’s death from Volume 3, turning into a stage play. 

Each character appears the same, but is referred to them by their actor’s name. The only exception is Miles Luna, who does not appear as Jaune Arc.

I included the line about Monty as a brief tribute, as I figured it would have been in poor taste to have Lie Ren walking around being called “Monty.”

I never thought about it, but the staff confiscate the remote thinking it is a prop, while Oscar has the literal Relic of Knowledge on his belt. I forgot about the Relic quite often.

Neo finding Yang in the closet is a reference to the RWBY Chibi skit “A Slip Through Time and Space Pt. 2” where Barbara Dunkleman investigates the closet of Rooster Teeth merchandise.

Barbara also makes reference to Yang’s Volume 3 fight with Adam Tauros, in which she loses her arm. 

Gray Haddock, as Roman Torchwick, mentions method acting when Neo doesn’t speak. For the uninitiated, method acting is a style of role preparation where the actor attempts to become the character in their ordinary life. The idea here is that Neo’s actress is not speaking deliberately as a way to prepare for her role as a mute. 

Neo is referred to by the name Casey. This is in reference to Casey Williams, who is listed as Neo’s ‘voice actor’ for the game  _ BlazBlue: CrossTagBattle _ .

The quick fire section of traveling featured the following worlds:

  * The Vytal Festival world is based on Dragonball Z
  * The Mountain Glenn world was the Furry World idea from my earlier notes.
  * The Beacon Academy world is based on High School Music, and the Musical idea I suppose. 
  * The Florida world is based on the 9th circle of Hell. 



**Chapter 6**

This chapter gave me the most trouble with its premise. Initially the world was called RWBY Edgelords, and the idea was that each character would be the stereotypical ‘edgy’ personality. The chapter would begin at Beacon Academy, but that proved to be an issue since the trio would have to get to Atlas fairly quickly. 

The second idea came from reader Nathan_Thorn, which was to do a role reversal world. In this world, Ruby and friends were the villains, while Salem and Cinder formed Teams to stop them. While I initially had fun creating the teams, I couldn’t think of how to interestingly use the world. Since the sides were just reversed, Oscar and Penny would still be opposed to Cinder and Salem, while Neo would have been an ally to them.

Eventually I settled on what I call RWBY Reddit, which is a world based on things I saw on the r/RWBY subreddit: 

  * Sun and Yang fighting over Blake is based on the eternal war between _Bumblebee_ and _Blacksun_ shippers.
  * Qrow being Ruby’s father is based on a fan theory that Ruby’s uncle is actually her real father. This has not currently been proven, and some say a comment from Monty Oum that Ruby and Yang are “half sisters” cements it as a false rumor.
  * Ruby and Jaune being in a relationship is a reference to the popularity of the _Lancaster_ ship.
  * Weiss’ ‘schneenis’ is a reference to… just Google it. 
  * Qrow and Clover being lovers, which is a reference to the popular ship _Fairgame_.



Yang’s comments about her mechanical arm is a reference to a Rooster Teeth panel where Barbara Dunkleman insinuated that her arm may have a vibrate function.

Nora calls Oscar “Osky Wosky” here, which is the same thing Ruby called him in Chapter 4. This is less of an easter egg and more of me being lazy with nicknames.

I originally did want to try and write a Neo vs Neo fight, but after hours of not being able to make it work, I wrote in the heavily abridged version. 

Originally, Neo was going to swoop in and rescue Penny and Oscar before warping away. I changed this because I wanted to stay true to Neo’s sadistic nature. Despite the inroads she had made with Penny, she ultimately only cared about herself. 

Weiss’ comment about spaghetti is a misuse of the line “spaghetti is straight until it gets wet.” The line was originally from a movie, but I spent 15 minutes sifting through endless memes and could not find the original source.

**Chapter 7**

This world was called RWBY Star Wars. A lot of these references are pretty clear, but just in case…

  * Jaune Solo is a reference to Han Solo
  * Rubacca is a reference to Chewbacca
  * Schnee-3PO is a reference to C-3PO
  * The Century Eagle is a reference to the _Millenium Falcon_
  * Ilia Organa is a reference to Leah Organa
  * Darth Maiden is a reference to Darth Vader



The Many Worlds Theory is the pseudo-scientific idea that our universe is one of an infinite number of universes in a multiverse. A version of this theory states that every binary choice made splits the universe into two, one where each choice is made. 

Penny being 2 years old would be accurate assuming she was rebuilt right after her original body was destroyed in the 40th Vytal Festival tournament. 

People translating Neo has always been, in my opinion, a cheap excuse to have her speak, so I parodied it by having Schnee-3PO translate simple kicks as complex thoughts.

The TITS acronym carries on a tradition of me using really unfortunate name schemes in my crack stories. This one was my favorite since it actually made some sentences even better.

**Chapter 8**

This world was called RWBY Thug Life. This world took a lot of inspiration from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, where two competing gangs (The Grove Street Family and the Ballas) fight for control of the city.

The chapter title is a reference to the song “Jenny from the Block” by Jennifer Lopez (feat. Jadakiss & Styles P.)

Most of the characters have names based on famous rappers.

  * Ruby Ross is a reference to Rick Ross
  * Weiss Cube is a reference to Ice Cube
  * Blake Thought is a reference to Black Thought
  * Wu-Yang is a reference to the Wu-Tang Clan



Cinder’s alias, CB Fall, is a reference to the 1993 Chris Rock comedy  _ CB4 _ which is about the fictional group of the same name.

While I originally did not come up with a nickname for Penny, I kinda wish I would have called her Pennynem, a reference to Eminem.

Ruby asking the girls to get their “boobs out for Penny” is a reference to the meme “dicks out for Harambe.”

The allusions of the TITS being meth is a reference to Breaking Bad where the characters cooked up crystal blue methamphetamine. 

Weiss telling Wu-Yang about the train is another reference to Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and its infamous train chase mission .

Mercury and Emerald originally had rapper inspired nicknames as well, but they never were addressed in universe, so I didn’t use them. Mercury was Merkuly, in reference to Canadian rapper Merkules, while Emerald was EZ Emerald, a reference to Eazy-E. 

P-snax’s weapon was inspired by the character Exusiai from the mobile game  _ Arknights _ who has wings and an array of floating rifles.

Penny’s final moment with Cinder mimics her iconic scene with Pyrrha in Volume 3. Additionally, Cinder seems to indicate that world’s Pyrrha had already asked her this too.

**Chapter 9**

This world was called RWBY Fast and Furious, and was based almost entirely around the idea of Neo driving a sick tuner car.

The title is a reference to the song “Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna.

I did my best to refrain from using the word ‘car’ since I don’t think it would be something Neo might know about. In the end it was an awful amount of dedication for something that most people would not have cared about.

I’m a big fan of racing, but I realize it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, so I tried to keep the action grounded and not get too technical with the racing jargon. 

I wrote the entirety of this chapter while listening to a Super Eurobeat playlist. 

**Chapter 10**

This world was called RWBY Medieval and went through some pretty radical changes. My original notes mention Oscar forming a hunting party and killing a dragon guarding the crystals.

A lot of elements for this chapter were changed on the fly. Originally Oscar was going to meet Ruby and Yang at the Xiao Long camp which would have been led by Taiyang and Raven. Jacques was also, surprisingly, not going to be the villain.

I decided to liberally apply Ozma’s magic to Oscar, allowing it to do what I needed it to do versus what little has been shown in the show. 

Oscar’s confrontation with Jacques is my favorite moment for him throughout this entire story. 

**Chapter 11**

This chapter was originally going to be much shorter, with the trio warping back to their own world but being disrupted by the Empire’s attack. The disruption would have been the segue to Chapter 12, but after the three solo chapters I needed a strong finale. 

This entire chapter borrows numerous elements from the Star Wars original trilogy, including the  _ Millenium Falcon _ being captured by the Empire and the rescue of Princess Leah from  _ A New Hope _ , and the lightsaber duel from  _ The Empire Strikes Back _ .

Ilia makes fun of Oscar’s height the same way Leah told Luke he was too short to be a stormtrooper. 

Oscar’s interaction with the Empire soldiers over the intercom is based on the same scene from  _ A New Hope _ . 

The original version of Penny’s sixty nine scene went on for almost an entire page with every conceivable character finding some way to comment “nice!” on her selection.

Penny not using the ship’s targeting system is a reference to Luke using ‘the force’ in  _ A New Hope _ .

Just like Luke in  _ The Empire Strikes Back _ , Neo gets her hand cut off by Darth Maiden. 

Oscar using Ozma’s energy to coat  _ The Long Memory _ is a reference to Luke’s green lightsaber from _ Return of the Jedi _ .

Originally I had both Oscar and Penny join Neo for a three on one fight with Darth Maiden, however I loved the idea of Oscar saving Neo. Despite all their fighting and bickering, he still chose to come to her aid. 

Ilia Organa gives Neo a pink lightsaber, something that I don’t believe any character in Star Wars or Star Wars: Legends has had. 

**Chapter 12**

As confirmed by the letter at the end, the white void is actually the afterlife. Neo choosing to stay with Roman here is essentially her giving up her life to spend eternity with him.

The quotes at the beginning of the chapter are from “In This River” by Zakk Wylde’ Black Label Society. In the song, Zakk sings a heartfelt tribute to his late friend, “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott. It was the key piece of music I listened to while writing this emotional moment.

Originally I was going to have Neo say the words “Thank you,” to Penny and Oscar, but my dedication to the mute Neo archetype won out over that.

Neo booping Oscar on the nose is a reference to the fact that I still tear up reading this scene damnit why is it so sad?!

I purposely tried to leave Neo and Roman’s relationship vague as some believe them to have a romantic one, while others see it as a father/daughter type. I have my own opinion, but that’s a secret.

Oscar kissing Penny is a cheeky nod to the handful of readers who assumed I was shipping them in this story. Sorry it didn’t go your way, maybe next time?

I initially referred to James Ironwood as “Lieutenant.” A huge thanks to FanFiction.net reader Ravell Aqim for pointing this out. No, they’re not still in an alternate reality. They are home, I just suck at writing. 

The letter at the end of the story references Pietro’s daughter. It’s my personal belief that Pietro Polendina had a real daughter who died young, and that is where his inspiration for Penny came from. Headcanon in crack fiction? Absolutely.

As always, the story ends with the lyrics from “The Messenger” by Linkin Park. For this particular story, the lines could pertain to either Oscar or Neo.

**Going Forward**

Finishing this work, my second RWBY crack fiction, has reinvigorated my desire to continue. I feel that this style of crack, an absolutely absurd story with a wholesome/emotional payoff, is something I can really get behind. I get to deliver those narrative punches that I love, while also not taking things too seriously.

The big question then is, what’s next? I have some ideas.

My first idea is a take on the Jaune ultimate-shonen storyline, but taking it to the sort of extremes that made  _ To Infini-schnee & Beyond _ so popular. 

Another idea involved the Battle of the Bands episode of RWBY Chibi. I would have the villains of RWBY form a band to take the world over with sinister music, but get lost in the fame and fortune that comes with it. I got to write some villains in this story, and I’d like to do more.

Hell, I may even try writing a full Vindicators story, even if it is just a massive parody of Civil War and the Avengers movies. 

And then there’s the big one. This idea is in the beginning stages and is  _ much _ bigger than anything I’ve done before. I’m talking twenty characters, multiple parallel storylines, and possibly branching out into more R rated territories. You people seem to like that stuff… you sickos. The main issue is just how massive this project would be. 

At the end of the day I’ll most likely do both these smaller, self contained stories, while preparing and planning the big one in secret. 

As always, if you, dear reader, have an idea or suggestion you’d like me to try, please let me know. Some of my favorite ideas have been suggested by other RWBY fans!

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this more in-depth look at the story. 

-Starlight

Message me any time!

Discord: StarlightWanderer#2405

Come join the newest, up and coming RWBY server!

RWBY FNDM sever: https://discord.gg/tBQyVfyaTR


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